Sunday, January 17, 2010

How to accidentally make a 20 pound Chicken Pot Pie

Begin with a recipe you have never made before. Don't worry if it is even called chicken pot pie, as any basic casserole will do. Look over the list of ingredients while thinking what a great way this will be to use up some veggies. Notice that the recipe doesn't include chicken so throw a couple of breasts in the oven to bake. Begin by peeling, de seeding and dicing a butternut squash. Read that the recipe requires only a half cup. Question what you would do with the rest, while seeing that the recipe calls for 1 1/2 cups carrots. Decide to use the whole butternut squash and leave out the carrots. Peel and dice one baking potato. Realize how lost it seems in all the squash and peel a second one. Measure 1 1/2 cups frozen peas into pot. Question what to so with remainder in bag before adding them to the pot. Measure 1/2 cup frozen corn. Think about how much your kids like corn and add more. Think about the sweet corn and the sweet squash and worry the pie will be too sweet. Decide to add the carrots anyways. The pan is now overflowing, so get a bigger pan. Allow contents to boil for 4 minutes.

While this is happening, chop the cooked chicken breasts. Saute one onion. Recipe calls for 1 and 1/2 cups chopped mushrooms, but mushrooms shrink when cooking right? Add a few more. Increase the butter to account for the extra mushrooms. Add extra flour to account for the extra butter. Since you don't like vegetable stock, use the chicken stock you keep on hand. It isn't granules so go ahead and add the whole box (4 cups). Increase the milk to keep proportions correct. Just guess at seasoning as no one's spice rack is the same. Stir in the veges and chopped chicken. Find a bigger pan to bake it in. Realize you will need to double the crust recipe to cover the whole thing. Give up the recipe and mix a Jiffy corn mix with a little Martha White cornmeal and extra milk and eggs. When it looks right, pour it on top. Be careful as it is probably now spilling over the top. Ask for help getting it in and out of the oven.

Finally, hope your family likes it as they will be eating it for a week.

5 comments:

missyg said...

Hilarious!
Maybe this will keep J fed for awhile.

missyg said...

This is Mark. How can you call this a chicken pot pie with only two little chicken breasts??

Unknown said...

Because it was 3 large chicken breasts!

Missy said...

This reminds me of one of the "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" stories!So, was it good? I'm sure it was.

Rebecca said...

It really does seem like something you'd read in a children's book. Now all you need is some exaggeration/magical realism (as in, the pot pie takes over the entire oven...or possibly your whole house and your children have to eat their way out). Whimsical illustrations are also a must.

It'll be like Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs meets Stone Soup.