My family has always had a special relationship with stuffed animals. Many of you will remember Rusty or my bear. So, of course as soon as I knew about my children I was looking for that wonderful stuffed friend that would see them through childhood. For B,I found a sherbert colored bear. We took it to Russia in 1999. B was literally terrified of it. When we landed in Cincinnati, Aunt Becky presented her with Pug Dog. I guess it was that this stuffed animal looked like a real animal, but Pug Dog has been around ever since. He has been through all 13 surgeries, camp, school,vacations, and everywhere in between.
As soon as we knew about Had,the search was on again. This time in the form of a creamy yellow,very soft bear. We took Bear to Russia in 2001, where she patiently tolerated bag searches and gave smiles to stressed airport employees just a few months after 9/11. Had loved her. She was a constant companion from day 1. Had is not quite as responsible as B and bear spent several nights lost in malls, or restaurants. The longest time she was ever lost was when Had was in 3yo preschool. We searched everywhere. I had given up. Had asked me to pray that God would bring back Bear. I began to pray this carefully worded prayer about accepting whatever happened, when Had stopped me and took over. “God, please help me find Bear. Just put her under my pillow or someplace easy to see. Amen” I was worried to death about how we would deal with this loss. Had however skipped off to school, confident God would answer. When I picked her up that day,she was grinning ear to ear and said “guess what I have!!” and pulled out Bear. I had to pull over I was crying so hard. Had just laughed and said “Why are you crying? I prayed didn’t I.” Oh to have the faith of a child.
Bear’s story does not end there. Last spring,in the midst of all the moving school trauma, Bear went missing. Bear was getting in rougher and rougher shape and I told Had she couldn’t take her out anymore. As usual, Had had her own plan and took Bear to school, where she was then left in the car. We couldn’t find her. I was mad at being disobeyed. Had was upset. We looked everywhere and finally sent Had to bed. The next morning I woke to find the backyard covered in white fluff. The neighbor dog had ripped Bear to shreds. I scooped it all up as I sobbed. This was not repairable. Hadley fell apart. I went in at school to let the teacher know. She looked at me somberly “the bear from Russia?” I cried again. Kids made Hadley cards. It was like a funeral. Ms. W brought Hadley her own 62yo bear to sleep with. Meanwhile, I salvaged and hand washed every piece of Bear I could. The face was 75% in tact. The mission began. We went through the fabric store touching every bolt and scrap looking for the right feel and color. I hand made pattern pieces only to trash them and start again. The fabric was so fragile it required meticulous hand sewing. Finally, I had a body somewhat in place. The face and head were still defeating me. I was in over my head. Bring in Grandma who then took Bear to a friend that repairs antique dolls. Months and hours and money later,Had got back her precious Bear.
I know, we are nuts, but sometimes in a very difficult world, we need a little security and comfort that only a stuffed friend can provide. But just to be safe…. J and L don’t have such buddies. They have each other and that is enough.
