Worst Kids Gifts

B and H do not have college funds of the usual variety. Instead, they own cattle. They have their own little partnership where they feed some cattle in the west. They picked out the checks, but of course Daddy does all the management and the girls really don't know much else about it.

Yesterday, Nana, delivers two big boxes from the company the girls feed cattle with. The girls are beyond excited. This close to Christmas and a big box with just their names on it has arrived. "Can we open it?" They are pushing to see who will carry it in. H takes it to her room. We have to call repeatedly to get it brought back downstairs. Finally, Daddy gets it open. Hello 6 pound smoked beef brisket. Not the first choice of my almost vegetarian children. Welcome to the beef industry baby girls!

Legacy

In the spring of 1996, I was fresh out of college and more concerned with planning my upcoming wedding than the new job I had just begun as the Monroe County 4-H agent. Don't get me wrong, I had lots of ideas and excitement, but most of them were colored by the limited world of Extension I had seen in my home county. But, there I was thrust into the middle of a lively program with plenty of opinionated people. Even "my office" was filled with the history that was Monroe County 4-H. Front and center was Kela Lyons. Not her personally, but her many accomplishments. Lots of Kentucky 4-Hers hosted Japanese exchange students, but Kela went to Japan. Pick any project or event and Kela had some how done it bigger and better. Not only had she done all these things, but somehow managed to include everyone with her. She brought back gifts and art work, she shared her stories, and seemed to have made every one she knew feel as if they had a personal part in her achievements. Everything we did was compared to Kela. I heard about her wedding, her job, her life. Some days I wondered if her essence walked around the building at night. As a new face trying to make a name for myself and my kids, I sometimes felt discouraged that the bar was so high.

When Kela opened her practice in Bowling Green, it was almost a mad dash to beat down her office door. Subjects that are never discussed in polite company seemed to be overheard at every extension function as people bragged on the wonders of Kela Fee. Shortly there after, I moved on from Extension to deal full time with the infertility battle we were fighting and eventually on to adoption. My gyn at that the time was not as ready to give up the infertility fight and felt the need to discuss additional options with me at every appointment. My raw nerves could not handle this and so in desperation, I made an appointment with the famed Dr. Fee.

Past experiences made me a little leery. Most great people eventually read and believe enough of their own press that they make me crazy. Not Kela. She was everything everyone had said and then more. She talked with patients while they were still dressed. She remembered names and details and would ask to see pictures of my now growing family. She welcomed newborn babies into the world with a kiss and made even the most yucky exams more bearable with discussions of cute shoes and "mom" jewelry. She kept up with it all. As some of you all will remember, I began a bought with serious illness about the same time she was diagnosed with much worse than I had going on. Despite that, she apologized when she saw me in the mall. She was worried that my case had to be transferred and that something would fall through the cracks. She had so much to deal with and yet still worried about my little details. I have never been happy with a doctor since her. Plain and simply, no one will ever be able to live up to that amazing standard she set.

What a legacy. What an impact she has had on everyone around her from childhood until her last breath. No one is perfect. No one can do it all, but to leave the world better than we found it is truly the legacy we should all strive for. Without a doubt, Kela left everyone in her world, better for knowing her.

Recently Heard Around Our House

Brian: (laughing while L made funny faces) " What did we do before we had L to adore"

B: "When are we going to adopt another baby?"
Me: "Do you want another baby?"
B: "Yes, J would make a good big brother."

On a worksheet about communities by H
Question: What fun things can you do in your community?
Answer: In my community, I can climb on my cow's hay.

Question: Name two things that make your community a good place to live.
Answer: From my house you can see a good sunset and you can see cows.

While studying for B's upcoming social studies test
Question: What are two responsibilities of every American citizen?
B: " To pay taxes and ..... I can't remember the other one.
Me: " Yes , you can. We got to East Allen to do this."
B: "CAKEWALK"

Okay, perhaps one of our basic responsibilities is not to cakewalk for the fire department,and few people would probably list their community strengths as being able to see cows, but it sure makes me love the world I live in.

Advent Conspiracy

CPC Dinners

• 2 nights
• 325 people
• 100 children's gift bags
• 12 pounds of cream cheese
• 10 pounds of sugar
• 3 trips to the grocery
• 5 dozen eggs
• 1 cake thrown down the basement stairs
• ??? the number of times Kassie went out of her way to help me
• 1 child sick
• 1 1/2 days that Dawn could come to help. Of course this was also that day poinsettias came in!
• 5 daily Cokes to provide the sugar caffeine rush needed to get it all done

Huge thanks to all those who did all the table set up, potatoes, bread and salad, and endless other jobs I can never name. Especially my fabulous brother in law who spent two nights standing in the cold, grilling steaks to perfection. Whew, I am exhausted.

Opryland

Grandma and Grandpa were headed to Mississippi for Thanksgiving, so we planned an early celebration in Nashville. H had a cheer competition in the morning. Others toured Nashville or went shopping. We all enjoyed a delightful dinner at Cock of the Walk. Brian likes to remind me that the first time he took me there I was irritated. Why was he driving so far out of the way to take me to a place that only served fried chicken, fish, or shrimp? Of course it is now one of my favorite places to eat. I could make myself sick on fried dill pickles! Cousin L fell asleep before the trip to Opryland. What a crazy place it was. Who knew that the weekend before Thanksgiving the place would be wall to wall people! We all enjoyed the fabulous decorations and water show. Just our family went back during the day on Sunday to ride the boat and hunt for hidden candy canes. J was very impressed. Neither J or L had seen a Christmas tree before. The first thing we saw upon entering was a 30 foot tall tree covered in shiny red and gold decorations. My trees have always leaned towards the home spun variety with kraft paper wrappings and homemade ornaments. However, when L saw the tree, she absolutely loved it. My child who adores big ( read gaudy) jewelry was completely taken with the bejeweled tree. Believe it or not, B and I went later in the week to purchase shiny red, gold and silver ornaments. It appears I will be decoarting with a BLING theme this year. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Cousin R in his thinking pose.

My beautiful, very tall, girls!

J is searching for candy canes. Please notice the blue jeans and number shirt. Just what his Daddy always dreamed of!

Ten Reasons to Give Thanks for Your Child With Special Needs

I saw this in a newsletter, and it is just too good to not post. It is written by Terri Mauro

As if you need a reason! Parents of children with special needs know more than most that every child is a gift worthy of thanks. Every one, the ones who thrive, and the ones who strive, whether they become our legacy or we become theirs. But on those days when there doesn't seem much to be thankful for, or others are suggesting that your child must be a burden, or well meaning charities suggest giving thanks for healthy kids, check this list for a smile and a little inspiration.

1. You never have to worry about worrying over nothing.
Let other parents obsess over the frivolous and shallow. Your child will make sure you always have something to worry about.

2. Developmental Delays= more years of hugs, kisses, and little kid sweetness.
My 13 yo still wants to sit in my lap, give me hugs, and tell me he loves me. What mom of a sullen teen doesn't secretly wish for the same?

3. Maybe someday, Ty Pennington will come build you a house.
Hey, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition loves families of children with special needs. Your little one may be your ticket to a lavish living space.

4. Any little milestone is a cause to throw a party.
Your child works hard for every step, sit up, and syllable, giving you lots to be excited about.

5. Every day is a learning experience.
Some days it's a pop quiz, some days it's a crash course, but life with your child is always an education, for sure.

6. You have the privilege of putting several doctor's children through college.
After paying for all those appointments, you may feel like a one family scholarship foundation. Put your child's name on some letterhead and take pride.

7. You meet a better class of parents in waiting rooms and support groups.
Your child frees you from having to hang out with all those snotty parents on the playground, and gives you entry into an exclusive club of people who are sensitive, sarcastic, and sure of their priorities. (This is the point at which Brian began to laugh. Obviously, I was designed in utero to be the parent of a special needs child if sarcasm is one of the requirements! We would also agree this is a big way to force your priorities to the places they should have always been. We have prayed for this for years and God, as always, answers most creatively.)

8. You have an iron clad escape excuse for any occasion.
You'd love to stay at that boring party, crowded event, endless church service, but, you know your child just can't tolerate it. ( And if it's sometimes you who can't tolerate it--who's to know?)

9. Coming up with new strategies every day keeps your brain sharp.
They say doing crossword puzzles helps ward off Alzheimer's. Figuring out your child's schedules and treatments and lessons and rights and restrictions must easily provide twice the protection.

10. Your blessings will always be fully counted.
Other parents may take the gifts that their children bring for granted. Not you. Not ever.

As we approach Thanksgiving next week, we are overwhelmed with how blessed we are. Thank you God, for the big things and the showers of daily blessings that make our lives so amazing. May we remember that we are just the canvas and He is the painter.

Leaping Mice

Thursday night, I saw a mouse in the office. This was not a meek little mouse hiding in a corner. It was running across the middle of the room in full light. I HATE MICE. I always said I could handle anything in the classroom and did, until the day a mouse ran in front of me and before I knew what was happening, I was standing in the hall. So much for control. Brian never saw it, and we didn't have any traps. I added that to my list and went on.

Saturday morning, the whole crew is up by 6:15 as usual. B spent the night with a friend, and H was getting ready for cheer practice. Jack begins frantically trying to tell me something , which is the point I realize the mouse is running and jumping through the playroom. It is climbing in and out of the Little People Mayflower. H is sure she can catch it, and I am now standing on the couch holding L and calling Brian. Bless his heart, he stops what he is doing and comes home with two traps. We don't have time for traps, this mouse has now been in and out of my closet and is back in the playroom. Finally, Brian gets one of the small nets that came with the sand buckets. Hadley lifts the teeter totter and Brian drops the net down. He can't pick the net up, because it would be too small to keep the mouse down in it. So, he crawls across the living room, with the net pressed to the floor, scooting the mouse along. H is yelling the whole time, "Don't kill it, it is one of God's creatures." I open the porch door and he flings it out. Crisis averted. All before 7am

One small boy plus one small rock equals.........

What can I say, J is at it again. Absolutely nothing prepared me for life with a boy. He is my only child to ever disappear and require the help of the police and local fire department to find him. (twice) He is the reason we have so many additional locks and gates. He eats more than all the girls put together. He points out every truck, tractor, car and bus and is beginning to know the different kinds. His frustration with his Mama grows daily as I do not realize it is a tow truck vs a front loader etc. He has peeled wall paper, parked all his trucks in the fireplace. ( he needed a gravel pit and things to push around), and clogged toilets. He has even managed to make the hot water heater overflow (don't ask). He is the reason L has a helmet to wear while on ride on toys in the house. He has pushed out screens, unbuckled his seat belt in the car, and can single handed drive all 3 of his sisters to insanity. He can also smile the most amazing "best little boy in the world" smile.

Trick or Treat

B is the witch. H is her pet bat. J is a dinosaur. L is a garden fairy. J proudly carried both his and L's pumpkins. It only took him 2 stops to figure out this was a great activity. He learned to roar, but not to say Trick or Treat! Everyone we visit is looking specifically for us. Our kids get so much we should probably send thank you notes. We should not even discuss the amount of melted chocolate and candy wrappers in the back seat by the end of the night. We were trying to limit J's sugar consumption, but Uncle Michael helped him down whole boxes of Pop Rocks! Brian and I scavenged the homemade cupcakes and cookies before they got smooshed in with lesser items like suckers. Thankfully, the last stop was Aunt Kassie, where she provided chili, butternut squash soup and sandwhiches.

Mama was going for Hermione, but my usual frizzed to oblivian hair decided to be nice and smooth. Of course.

Perfect Days

When asked about perfect days, many people seem to think of the days of great events- weddings, births, holidays etc. They may even tell you of a season of life such as high school or childhood. None of these come even close to being on my list of perfect days. Although I rejoice, almost everyday, in the outcome of my wedding, the day itself was stressful, not really what I would have planned if truly left to my own choices, and exhausting. I adore my children, and would not take anything for the memories of picking them up for the first time, but each of his or her arrivals was also stressful, tiring, and full of extra emotions over finding the right kind of food or safe water in a foreign country. To this day we still compare all statements on tired to "Russia tired." No other tired has ever compared. As for seasons of life, if the best times are in the past, why go forward?

My perfect days are really about moments in time that take my breath away. Or those moments when I look around me and feel the swell of contentment deep in my soul. The true delight of the moment almost envelopes me. I am brought to tears at how blessed I am. They don't usually include many people, time is no object, and I feel no pressure to please any one in particular, or any one at all.

Perfect days are.......

• Any day that includes me, B and H, a good book, warm sun and the pool.
• Castaway Cay day on a Disney Cruise. Breakfast at Parrot Cay, followed by all day on the beach with no sand to clean up afterwards.
• Camping anywhere with beautiful trees, a warm fire and no cell service.
• A quiet afternoon, baking cookies or bread in my kitchen, as rain or snow falls softly outside. ( I love the feel of bread dough in my hands.)
• Any day but a holiday weekend spent lounging in the boat. L loves the wind in her hair. B and H hatching some kind of plan for exploring. J in his daddy's arms driving the boat.
• Waking up on Thanksgiving morning with no place to go or activity we have to do until 5pm.
• Walking through a yellow woods with my husband at 1pm on a week day.

Treats

• We had beautiful family photos done last night. Brian came in early. Every one's hair worked. L's dress covered the bumbo seat so she could "sit" on the floor. The big girl's consented to allowing their mama one Norman Rockwell picture with matching, big bowed, full skirt dresses.
• We tried and succeeded in eating at Rafferty's. This is a huge first.
• L woke up hungry in the middle of the night, as is usual. I gave her a sippy cup of Pedia sure and put her back down. She didn't go back to sleep, but proceeded to call repeatedly for "Mama". This was a major accomplishment, so I of course gave in and went back upstairs. Even 4:30 wake up calls seem sweeter when your 2 yo finally articulates exactly what she wants.
• For Bible dress up day, I finally got one child to do something creative (please, no more animals or Mary) and B rolled out the door as The Tree of Life from the garden of Eden.
• L almost got her sock off in the car. The first time this was asked about in an evaluation, I stared at them in disbelief. This child could not even get her toes near her hands, let alone have the dexterity to get off the socks. They are not off, but stretched to oblivion. I am so proud!

Learned or Inherited?

Becky's Wedding

Finally I have pictures of Rebecca and Mark's August 9th wedding to post. It was a beautiful event.

Spirit Spooktacular

Chilling out before the competition.

J and his favorite big buddy.

I never cease to be amazed at what 4-9 year olds can do.

B was my photographer for the day and I think she did an awesome job. The week leading up to the first competition of the season was crazy. They practiced every night and I really had little hope of things not falling completely apart. As usual I under estimated what sheer will power can achieve. It was a solid routine with only a minor end stunt problem. We got second and we can definitely live with that. Not a bad way to start the cheerleading year.