herd additions

Colorado 2012

2012-01-20T11:51:00.001-06:00

I am willingly acknowledging, the yearly Colorado ski trip is not my favorite thing. Brian and the big girls really enjoy it, but the last few years the trip has been a struggle for both me and Lucy. Altitude sickness and not being able to ski left us feeling like prisoners in a foreign place. Even options like sledding ended with me and Lucy on the hill behind the house and everyone else on the tubing hill. I promised her and myself it would never happen again. When it became clear it was indeed happening again, I started looking for options. I’m not sure many people understand how extremely hard it is to live life as a forced spectator; to sit on the side and listen to others joy and be told you should learn to be content with your limits. Very thankfully, we discovered an adaptive program at Breckinridge, and so began the adventure.

The Breckenridge Outdoor Experience is a hole in the wall with an assortment of adaptive equipment, a handful of staff, brilliant volunteers, foam pieces, duct tape, and a “nothing can stop us” spirit. Lucy waited patiently with Daddy.

This is sort of like a big wheel seat mounted on two skis. She is seat belted in and you can see the handle behind that one of her guides used to steer her down the hill. The guy on the right told Brian he sold Harley Davidson's all week but he lived for this job.

Jack had his own great instructor at regular ski school.

Lucy got to ride the regular ski lift. The chair slid between her seat and skis and away she went. How wonderful to watch Jack, Brian and Lucy all within a few seats of each other.

This girl is front of Lucy also had CP. She was skiing with a walker that had skis. We also saw a blind skier and every other issue imaginable.

Gasp!!! They even skied through the trees. Lucy moved her arms up and down the entire 2 1/2 hours and moved her body with the turns. Obviously, she ended each morning completely exhausted.

We didn’t even get her clothes off or lunch in her before she was in really deep sleep.

Skier Jack of course kept going!

Firecracker

2012-01-10T12:02:00.001-06:00

Hadley turned 11 this week. We should have known she was a firecracker when the first video arrived. It clearly stated she was 6 months old, but it displayed a bright eyed, curly headed girl hopping from one foot to the other in her crib. We were confident they were wrong about her age. Of course they weren’t, that’s just Had. By the time we left Russia, she was speaking in English. And she is still talking, albeit with a VERY southern Kentucky twang.

Hadley once heard Josh Turner’s “My little darlin is a firecracker” and was confident it said “My little daughter.” And who could blame her. By the time she was 3 there was considerable concern she would never live to see five. She was and is a daredevil. We sometimes joke that we enrolled her in cheer to keep her from tumbling off the roof of the house. She swam so well that her swim test at the YMCA is signed only with an “H” because she could swim the length before she could write her whole name. At Hadley’s re adoption in the USA, she gave the judge her name, address and phone number- she was barely 3. I asked the guidance counselor at school to place Hadley with a teacher trained in explosives. Hadley can be nothing short of dangerous, but in the hands of the right person, she can be an amazingly beautiful, colorful, night sky filling, celebration of life.

Ahh the tummy showing days.

We still see this expression.

Hadley is always willing to help with Lucy.

Bear.

Despite the Easter basket, it really was Halloween. Hadley has been Kim Possible, a power ranger, an Incredible, a cowgirl…. and that one year she was too young to choose and Brianna made them matching princesses. It is hard to imagine that now.

Hadley and friends. Aren’t they amazingly beautiful.

Where we Have Been Part 2

2012-01-04T08:57:00.000-06:00

Once I drop kids off, I have 6 hours. Assuming no one is sick or has a dentist appointment etc, I have 6 hours to do it all. Everything from clean house to carry on a conversation with my husband. Our after school time is so chaotic that even supper needs to be almost finished. Some days go well, and others seem to get consumed by errands or paperwork. Regardless, the time arrives to do the after school pickup. When Brianna was homeschooled and the twins were off on Fridays, I seemed to have a better balance of individual attention. This year, I seem to be racing to fill every one's emotional cups in the few short hours between pickup and bedtime. It is hard to hear four conversations at once and just proves our minister's evolution theory- I don't have 8 arms or 4 sets of ears. This particular afternoon, Brianna heads into the primary center to meet her tutor and the rest of us head to the library. I really do love were I live. While the rest of the world may claim to be handicap accessible, it rarely is. We are blessed with a beautiful library with true handicap entrances and a family bathroom- heaven. The holiday season was already beginning and we needed to kill time before taking Hadley to meet Brian for a chorus concert at the tree lighting. We looked at books while Jack insisted we needed a video. Videos from the library are not a good fit for us. While book fines are usually overlooked or can be paid back in canned food, video fines add up at a dollar a day and we are terrible about returning them. Jack responded by laying in the library foyer and screaming. I hoped the fact that he was in the doorway and the door was hitting against him might make a difference, but only after we stepped over him and headed to the car did he finally make his act a traveling show. By the time we got to Ms. Sullivan's, I was ready to string him up. He responded by rearranging their rockers on the porch and seeing if their rain spout was "really attached." Whew! Get everyone back in the car and drop Hadley with Brian. It is now dark as we head for home. Rudolph plays on the car DVD and Brianna zones into her own ipod world. One would think this might mean a few minutes of peace, but shortly outside of town, the smell hits. The smell that only means one thing- poop. Hadley manages bodily fluids relatively well, but Brianna began gagging. We were still several minutes from home so I pulled over in a church parking lot to try and clean up a little. As I lifted Lucy from her car seat, I really didn't have a place to go other than the grass. Cleaning Lucy in this state is an extreme challenge. You have to try and contain her hands as well as get clothes off and clean up the rest of her. It consumes all of your attention. I was just finishing and putting her back in the car as a car pulls up behind us with blue lights flashing. The sheriff steps out and approaches the car to find out what is going on. To Brianna's pure horror, I told the truth. Yes, this was an ugly, disgusting mess, but when a law enforcement officer thinks you are beating your child on the ground, I find the truth to be the best option. I could tell he was unsure of my story, but as he looked in the van, I am sure the smell hit him, and upon seeing Lucy, he smiles and says "I know you. Can you do an elephant for me Lucy?" Thankfully, the sheriff is married to the director of special education for Allen County and it is a small town.

Where We've Been

2011-12-21T22:51:00.001-06:00

It seems that every so often I inadvertently take a blog break. Sometimes it is computer issues, but mostly, it is just life. Too many events, too little sleep etc. I thought it might be interesting to explain a day in our life so you might better understand where we go and what we do. To see a day in our life, you have to accept that our days don't really end, the clock just turns over. Eleven oclock often finds us lecturing to older kids about the need for sleep, or threatening to take computers and ipods that entice them out of slumber. Jack of course makes multiple trips down the stairs for a drink, or a snack, or just to make sure we are still there. One trip or another to take him back to bed will include a stop in the girls' rooms to confiscate the aforementioned technology. By 3 or 4 am, Jack or Lucy or both have joined us in bed. Some sound has caused Jack's eyes to flutter and he shoots down the steps like a cannon ball. I bolt up as a freight train zooms into our room. If Lucy has joined us, she is most likely signing/ talking about whatever upcoming event she is terrified she will miss or be left out of. We are careful not to fall asleep because Lucy will use the opportunity to bite or pull hair. Falling asleep isn't usually a problem as Jack beats any bed mate to a pulp and I'm normally clinging to the mattress piping. And then the alarm goes off.

Make lunches, fix snacks, fix breakfast. Take the ipad from Jack multiple times. Argue with oldest about why actual food must be packed in her lunch box. Finally get people to the table for breakfast so oldest can call homemade french toast "revolting", because "It tastes like dawg." We don't make a practice of cooking dog so not sure where she ate that for comparison purposes. Finally, I leave all at the the table so I can get in the shower and Brian supposedly loads everyone into the van. If it is a good day, I just endure multiple trips in to tattle, but bad days mean exiting the shower (a decision usually has to be made while in the shower- hair or body; there is rarely time for both) where I am greeted by oldest with an outfit in hand because, on my own, I choose clothes that "make you look fat" or "poor." Seriously, most days I am headed to Sams or home to make spaghetti sauce or clean out a closet. I thought I was looking okay in my jeans without a hole and my new Allen County Basketball sweatshirt. Finally, we fly out of the drive. Are you keeping up? We are just at 7:05.

The trip to school is always eventful. Most of it is spent arguing over who's music should be playing. We also attempt to do prayer and praise requests. Brianna always says "Are we late? I'm thankful we aren't late." Lucy is always thankful for cheer and herself. Jack is thankful for something superhero related or whatever we just saw outside. Hadley is usually asleep. Unless of course she is belting out the latest Toby Keith song "RED SOLO CUP....." thus making her rap loving sister crazy. Then drop off begins. I once yelled "Have a great day" out of the window at the middle school, but this was evidently a passive aggressive attempt to ruin Brianna's day and so unfocused her she tripped in front of some 8th graders. I am so evil, I plotted that for days.

By this time, Lucy has probably played in poop. Yes, this is a terrible thing and we are doing our best to stop it, but as the distinguishing factor of all Lucy's entourage is our matching pinch marks, we sometime pick our battles. On this particular day, Lucy then gets it in her hair. I pull right up the cafeteria loading ramp and rush Lucy into the building. Her wonderful support people helped me clean her partly up before going to the nurses station for a hair washing and clothes change. Still with me? 8:00 am.

Part 2 is coming

Around the Dining Hall Table

2011-10-17T12:36:00.000-05:00

My sisters used to play a game about choosing 10 people living or dead to invite to sit with you at a college dining hall table (some odd Centre activity), but none the less interesting. Lately, I keep thinking how much I would like to really sit down with an assortment of "experts". After all, they are talking in my head at all hours of the day and night. They all seem to be pushing their respective opinions on to me and I am left to agree or refute each ever louder voice. So many of them seem to contradict, or at the least, not quite seem possible, that I would love for them to fight it out in front of me instead of using my blood pressure as the mediator. This is not the time to tell me only crazy people here voices. I haven't gone off the cliff yet, although a common statement in our house is "_____________ (fill in child of the day here), you are making me crazy!" Followed by Brian, "And she doesn't have far to go!" But I digress.

I can see Alice Gray, author of The Worn Out Woman, explaining the need for quiet,personal space. After all, even Jesus had to push away from the crowds and go up into the hills or onto the sea for some time of respite. This could be followed by Emilie Barnes of More Hours in my Day explaining that I didn't after all need sleep,but to accept my high calling as a mother and get up at 3 or 4am for a time of contemplation and study. Maybe we could choose Les and Leslie Parrot, whom seem to contradict themselves when explaining that couples become closer by experiencing new things and activities together, but kids need tradition and stability. I guess this means I should do more with just Brian,but that ignores the assorted studies and more "experts" warning against daycare, and unoccupied hours. Studies show that 4-Hers, boy scouts and female athletes are less likely to use drugs or have premature sex, but those same activities make dinner at the table difficult and dinner at the table reduces depression and improves grades. Playing sports reduces obesity, but The Hurried Child is over committed and stressed before age 5. The Triple Bind points out that girls are now expected to be smart, athletic and effortlessly beautiful and polite. Read to them, send them outside, don't make them stand out like geeks, but don't let them feel entitled. Encourage and support,but don't over inflate ego or make them think "we all get a prize."

Just about the time that fight is getting hot, lets bring in Gary Smalley to discuss how often you should date your spouse- once a week!!!, and a longer weekend every quarter to six months. But before he takes center stage, make sure we get Dave Ramsey seated to clarify how much all these different things will cost and keep us on budget. Once he gets it all budgeted, bring in David Platt and Francis Chan to challenge the whole group to be Radical and Crazy and find the money to spend equally on missions and time on community service etc. Let Po Bronson have a few minutes to point out the value of sleep from his work Nurture Shock before David Platt sends us all to all night "Secret Church" and then let the father and son Raniers discuss how we really didn't need the program, but Simple Church and a Simple Life.

Where’s Ms. Whittamore When You Need Her?

2011-10-11T11:04:00.001-05:00

One of our public school casualties has been field trips. No one teaches Kentucky History like Ms. W but I did my best to fill the gaps. We took one day of fall break to visit Fort Harrod and Shaker Village. Jack loved it and his older sisters tolerated yet another teachable moment.

Despite some bad attitudes, we still let everyone have a chance at throwing a small ax. I hoped there were too many witnesses for Brianna to be truly dangerous.

Jack’s version of this activity was a little like a good fisherman’s tale. However, reality is- choose Brianna if you are under attack.

My favorite sight. Made me very thankful for my double ovens and large capacity washer!

We picnicked under this wonderful tree. It just screamed to be climbed, but Brian had to stand on a table and lift Hadley down from her highest perch.

self portrait

All the learning exhausted Hadley.

So glad we purchased a jogging stroller for less than wheelchair friendly outings!

I learned my lesson this fall break. We have big plans for spring break so I thought we should stay home for fall. I seriously underestimated the emotional fall out from kids and Mama alike when it seemed that EVERYONE we knew was traveling somewhere great. Of course I spent 36 hours of the break laying in the bathroom floor, but I’m sure a bathroom floor at the beach would have seemed better! Stay tuned for next year’s plans.

Bringing in the Shrimp

2011-10-02T15:51:00.001-05:00

Southern Kentucky is blessed to be home to Buck Acres freshwater shrimp farm. The last weekend of September and the first weekend of October are the scheduled yearly shrimp harvest. It is an amazing sight to observe. Watching the ponds drain and seeing the prawns (freshwater shrimp) and tilapia lifted out still thrashing and flipping is a locavore’s dream. It requires lots of teamwork and a good deal of patience. Jack and Hadley couldn’t get enough. I was sure we would be pulling Jack from the drain spillway and while I waited to get my shrimp, Grandma pointed out that Hadley had put on gloves and was actually helping with the harvest.

Shrimp are bottom feeders so as the ponds drain, they settle in the mud and must be gathered by hand.

The water drains through a large concrete “colander” that traps the shrimp etc. These men are scooping them out and transferring the shrimp and fish to live wells.

Turtles also got caught in the nets and were set aside to be released.

Brianna was my photographer for the day, which means I have beautiful shots of the happenings and not a single shot of our family experiencing them. Sigh.

Ready, Set, Fly

2011-10-02T15:30:00.001-05:00

I took Brianna and two friends to Incredible Dave’s to celebrate her birthday.

White Chili Nachos

2011-09-30T11:15:00.000-05:00

Gotta love any recipe that is mostly opening cans and turning on the crockpot.

1 lb ground turkey
1 chopped onion
1 package dry taco seasoning
2 cans white beans drained and rinsed
1 can corn (avoid the super sweet)
1 large can petite diced tomatoes
1 can chopped green chilies
chicken broth till it looks right (sorry this is not a better measure- I struggle with cooking measurements)

brown the ground turkey and onions together. Add the taco seasoning and a little butter and water. (I know- measure!!) Put the meat and onion mixture in the crockpot and add other ingredients. Vary chicken broth based on desired outcome. More for a true soup, less to serve over nacho chips. salt to taste. Allow to cook on low for several hours to break down beans a little and blend the tastes. Serve with cheese and sour cream.

The Games we Play

2011-09-26T13:37:00.001-05:00

I was floored at the number of runners.

Jack is 26. He does not get grabbing flags. He does get tackle!

Teams make campsites in the field. Brian laughed at me for saying I “worry each girl across the line” But it’s true.

I have to become a better photographer. Brianna is in the blue and white.

Little Things

2011-09-19T09:12:00.000-05:00

Last week was rough. No ifs, ands or buts. Without going into details, it literally brought me to my knees and there were plenty of tears, and not enough sleep. But..... Saturday, Brianna bettered her time by almost a minute in the 3k. Brianna is not uber competitive and she has finished several races spitting venom at me. But she has kept at it and this weekend, when she rounded the final curve and headed into the home stretch she caught the bug. She was politely holding back to not run over the racer in front of her. I began to scream "PASS HER!" and another mom started running down the rope yelling for Brianna to "sprint now!" The light bulb finally popped. She shot around her and began to pull really hard. She passed that girl and another before speeding across the finish line. For the first time, she came out of the chute with a small smile on her face. Before she even got to me, I was on the phone with Brian screaming WHOO AHH!! She is not setting any records or even finishing in the top 20, but in races with 100 runners or so, she is creeping up that top half and finally leaving it all on the course. But, as Brian reminded me on the phone, "I'm not at all competitive."

And then there is Lucy. That child has obviously given up sleep and is "finished" with everyone but me and daddy. Her newest word is "STOP." I have had alot of hair pulled out this week. She also had a shining moment. About the time I thought we could take no more, Brian sat her in a chair at our table at the Lodge. She had made eating very difficult for both of us. She picked up a fork with red velvet cake icing on it. She held it in her hand and licked off the icing. She did not notice the silence that settled around us as she carefully handed the fork back to Brian and watched him put more cake on the fork. She lifted the fork again and gently, even though it took two tries, put it in her mouth and handed the fork back. Sometimes it is the little things that keep us going.

Ziploc Bags

2011-09-15T13:26:00.000-05:00

Today,I am cleaning out the closet we call "The Store." The store is actually a small closet off our bedroom that most people would use as a linen closet. I use it as the location for extra soap, toothpaste, razors etc. One could ask why we need such a place. Why not just run to the store and buy a new tube of toothpaste when you run out? But that would require a different blog and perhaps some psychological analysis. For the moment,just let me babble on about my discoveries. First off, we obviously never use body wash. I found huge bottles of it that are so old they are separating into waters and oils. Don't think we don't get clean (Okay, one of my children is questionable,but that may also require counseling to answer.) We do have an abundance of soap, ranging from Brian's Lever 2000 to stacks of wonderful home made soaps from Aunt Lana. These smell wonderful and I must worry about running out,because I actually discovered a secret stash. I know,more counseling. I also discovered that I must buy men's razors every time I buy women's. This would seem to make sense accept,in this house there is one male who shaves sporadically and 3 females whom shave regularly. It also seems the females do not mind the smell of Gillette, but the male does mind the smell of raspberries. If you are a male under 6 years old, it seems it is fine to use blueberry or strawberry scented products as long as Mater or Buzz Lightyear is pictured on the bottle. An outsider looking in, would also assume we have a love of hydrogen peroxide- true, and some obsession with travel sized mouthwashes- not sure, we never use them at home and based on how few are open, obviously not when we travel either. Perhaps the most interesting discovery are the extreme number of quart sized, TSA approved, ziploc bags. As a public rule follower (behind closed doors I have a terrible attitude), I dutifully pack for every trip in assorted bags. I buy travel sized items because I always forget what's in the reusable ones. Don't ask how many times I have conditioned my hair with lotion and washed my hands with conditioner. I am really anal about trip planning. Okay, ocd doesn't even touch it. I spend hours assembling each bag and kit and making sure we know where everything is. But I obviously do not have the same out of control feelings about unpacking. I found 15 travel toothpastes and even baby shampoo from Russia trips. All packed in ziploc bags with things like unopened visine (airplanes are drying) and tide spot remover (please, most of you have seem my kids, I obviously never use this.) But today is a new day. Out with the old and in with the..... large ziploc bags brought in to hold all the travel sized toothpaste.

Homeschool review

2011-09-12T12:04:00.000-05:00

For the last two school years, I received an amazing gift. I had the blessing of spending all day educating and training my oldest child. I got to watch her think and process and discover and yes, sometimes, labor. It was not a venture we entered into lightly and we knew from start to finish it was a two year term. According to the book Love in a Time of Homeschooling, there is at least an anecdotal found trend in "sabbatical homeschooling." According to her research there appears to be a growing movement of parents removing their children from more traditional school settings for only a year or two. Most commonly in the 4th- 6th grades. This is after kids have learned to read and work independently and before higher math classes begin. The reasons are numerous and varied including things like filling gaps left by a bad teacher or slower development, or getting out of bully situations. More common was a desire to help kids rediscover a love of learning and get to do things that have been largely pushed out of the public school curriculum. Read real books for hours at a time. Travel. Complete huge hands on projects that reach across subject areas. Pursue a personal passion..... or find one. Public schools or so hounded by tests, they have little time to allow kids to think or create. After school activities have become so demanding, that even working in a day trip to a state park or historic site can seem like a daunting task. Anyways.....

So began our journey. It was a a wonderful trip. We averaged one Newberry winning book a week. Brianna found a love of reading. We went to space camp. We wandered through great art exhibits at the Frist. We watched old documentaries and sobbed through World War II novels. Brianna made posters and built models. We danced Native American dances, and created brilliant art pieces inspired by masters with no 45 minute time limit. And we cried and stressed and lamented for hours, HOURS!!!, over fractions and decimals. One of my favorite moments was one day during a social studies lesson. I knew before hand that Brianna was an extreme kinesthetic learner, but this particular morning, we were working on identifying land formations using the globe. "Come feel the mountain ranges, Mama. Isn't it neat how you can slide your hand across and feel the differences?" I just loved watching her think.

Homeschooling was the hardest job I have ever had, and I can only imagine how much harder educating several children at once would be. Brianna came out of our experience better educated and a better thinker than she started. She still doesn't love school, but she does enjoy knowledge. Brian says I spent two years worrying she would have a big "H" branded on her, and he is probably right. Now that its over, I see it is not an H that got branded on her, but a huge piece of me that walked out the door to middle school. Hopefully it won't ruin her.

Do the Next Thing

2011-08-17T13:10:00.000-05:00

I found the poem below while reading in car line. I have to admit, the first few days of everyone back at school- the first time ever to be at home by myself, have not gone quite as I expected. The twins, were far more demanding than I ever expected and homeschooling, while wonderful, drained anything else left of my lifeblood right out. Basically, I have 3 and a half years of accumulating to do lists waiting to be tackled as soon as I dropped all 4 smiling faces at the school house door. Not just big projects, but some things as basic as clean the basement kitchen sink, finally have all the clothes put away at one time, separate important mementos from 6 month old mail, find the charger to my nook, wash hair and shave in the same showering event. Day 7 on the island and none of these have happened. I have spent hours in meetings, the nightmare/never ending house redecorating project, and caring for a sick child but...... Basically, I am as overwhelmed as before they went back to school, now I just feel more guilty for not having it all done. It will get better. I have a little more done each day, I have just had to extend projected completion date to Christmas. Or maybe May.

At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
There came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
That, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
Like a low inspiration, do the next thing.

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe'neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance, be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then as He beckons, do the next thing.

Author Unknown

Meet the Patriots 2011

2011-08-11T21:10:00.001-05:00

You only thought this was about hearing from the football coach and meeting the team. It was really about seeing and hearing my baby girl announced as part of the Patriot Cross Country Team. Watch out world she is coming on strong!

First Day of School 2011

2011-08-09T10:29:00.002-05:00

Update from this morning. Girls all had a great day! Jack's at least got better than it started. Brianna made friends and loves her science teacher. She and Hadley talked non stop after pickup. Lucy fell dead asleep at cheer practice. We just got back from cross country where Brianna ran 4 miles. Whew! We will need dynamite in the morning but at least they seem excited for day 2!

Rough start. Juice was spilled, tempers flared, hormones raged. 3 people cried. (I was one of them) Lunch and one backpack forgotten. As we walked the whole distance of the building to Jack and Lucy’s classes, Jack lamented that he wanted to “go to the same school as last year” And who can blame him. The idea to fruit basket toss up the entire building guaranteeing no one knows any one was a terrible plan. So much for strong and stable. It has to get better right??? So begins the 2011- 2012 year. Two kindergartners, 5th grader and 7th grader. Cross country and cheer tonight. Really hoping this is not a statement on the overall year.

What 40 years of marriage will get you

2011-08-04T13:28:00.001-05:00

I think the plan was for Grandma and Grandpa to be front and center, but somehow Jack and I ended up there.

This is what 15 years will get you. Expect to see this again at Christmas!

Tooth Fairy

2011-08-04T13:07:00.000-05:00

I am pretty good at Easter most years. I have made resurrection rolls, dyed Easter eggs with natural colors and usually get the white shoe thing taken care of (thanks Susan for help this year!). I am a little better than good at Christmas- neat teacher presents, theme gifts, homemade gift bags one year (yes, that was pre children.) I even manage to get gingerbread made for Russian Christmas and at least mention the happening of major Jewish holidays, so my kids can be more well rounded. But.... I am really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY AWFUL at the Tooth Fairy. If I had it to do over again, this little tradition would never have graced our door step. I don't have change, they forget to tell me, teeth have been lost in the yard, I have to explain why teeth are worth $1 this time and $5 the next (the change thing again) and why the teeth down the road are worth $20. I can't answer all the questions about the boy fairy or girl fairy thing thanks to the Santa Claus movies. And finally, sometimes, most of the time, I fall into bed exhausted and just forget. Such was the story this week.

My sweet baby boy lost his first tooth. It had been loose for days. We had begun to worry it would come out in his sleep. The grown up tooth was already coming in behind the baby tooth. He was gnawing corn on the cob with his jaw teeth. He would not let me touch it and finally, all on his own, he pulled that little sucker out while watching Loony Tunes. He was so proud. The gap is so cute. We praised his skill at pulling it himself. He smiled his now gaping, super self confident grin, and Hadley began to tell the wonders of the tooth fairy. UGGG. Daddy helped him place the tooth in his shoe instead of under the pillow as this makes tooth fairy work easier and sent him off to bed. After a few more up and downs, an issue from Lucy, and confirmation that I had set the alarm for our new early morning schedule of cross country, we climbed into bed while discussing the debt ceiling vote and ....... forgot all about it. The next morning, only moments after I had awoken before the alarm due to yet another headache, a somber little boy wandered into my room to exclaim "She forgot to come." Forget the excedrin and lack of coffee. I immediately sat up and engaged. "Oh baby, I am sure you just can't find it." Wheels are spinning in my head. I have used lots of explanations about the holiday season or backlog of tooth loosing cases, but this was a first tooth. Nothing could explain this away. I convinced my still slightly groggy boy to lay down and watch TV, a privilege he had lost for hitting Lucy, while I went to look. I quickly wrote a note on leftover invitation card stock giving him the right to pick out the toy of his choice from Toys R Us- Love the Tooth Fairy. Guilt is a terrible thing. I ran upstairs and stuffed it between the mattress and headboard and called him to see what I had found. So by 6:15am, I had lied, connived and set an impossible future standard all to appease my guilt. Did I mention the headache?

St George- Sand and Water

2011-07-28T07:45:00.001-05:00

The first day we were there, we had awesome waves. Brianna and Hadley are both captivated by Soul Surfer right now so they loved riding boogie boards. I was once told I would “sissify” my kids so I work very hard at making sure they do not share their mothers assorted fears. Go big or go home. The funny side to this is that one side of the family finds me overly cautious and the “safety queen.” The other finds me encouraging danger and less than watchful. One more to the list of I can’t win. Anyways, all 4 kids had a great time.

Lucy loves to be thrown in the air and splash back down into the water.

That’s some serious height. I admit to catching my breath on a few of these.

Jack is becoming a fish like his sisters. Aunt Karen suggested Hadley and Lucy may have gills.

Cousin R had major construction projects to create dams and canals. Jack was no near as focused or organized. Jack is more of a chase down the seagulls, eat a rice crispy treat while surfing kind of guy. Jack carries around “little men", the assorted super heroes from his play sets of batman etc. He insisted on burying them in the sand and then thinking Mama could just keep digging until I found them. Brian said he was like a dog with a bone as despite my constant irritation with him for hiding the little men, he always seemed to find them.

Brianna is my nature lover. She can spot crabs from miles away. We had several that lived right outside the door or in this case, on the door.

My social butterfly (Hadley) knew every kid and family on the beach.

Lucy loved the beach and playing in the water, but we could not stop the eating of sand. A lot of sand.

Plenty of Daddy time was without a doubt the highlight of Lucy’s trip. She is always happiest when we are all together. Lucy reminds us what a blessing family is. While exhausting, walking the beach with Lucy and Brianna while usually quiet Brianna talks non stop, and Lucy squeals to put her feet in the water is simply wonderful.

Total Cheer at the Beach

2011-07-28T07:07:00.001-05:00

Hadley loves to dress she and Lucy alike. Lucy loves cheer. Most loud, chaotic places make her crazy, but Lucy loves cheer competitions. Hadley is trying to teach her to fly and makes Jack the back spot. It is very impressive to watch how hard a child that can’t stand independently will work to do a high V. HW + D = WT Hard work plus determination equals winning tradition.

St George 2011

2011-07-26T16:29:00.001-05:00

When you become “ancient” (Brianna’s word for her elderly parents), you appreciate the value of a floppy hat. Brian’s word was “classy”. I think I like his view of me better.

All the fun details to follow. Clear water, ocean breeze, dolphins just a few yards away and crabs galore. I love vacation. I am going for 2 weeks or even a month just as soon as possible. It may be a few decades but a girls gotta dream. ; )

Just Pool It

2011-07-26T16:20:00.001-05:00

Oh how much difference a year makes. I can now easily handle 4 at the pool. Everybody carries something. Big kids can manage themselves. Jack is close to swimming without his life jacket all the time and Lucy swims. That’s right!! She puts her head in, blows bubbles, kicks and rolls for more oxygen. It is interesting to see how many people know Lucy. She of course doesn’t tell me names,but they sure recognize her. With the move to public, Jack and Hadley both have more buddies to play with and Brianna spends most of her time reading and sunning. It’s been a great time for all. The addition of life guards that smile hasn’t hurt either.

Hadley tumbles as much as she swims. How many of you can do handstand push ups? Didn’t think so.

Jack is in a serious posing stage. What in the world is he showcasing?? Lucy is on the swim ten, eat ten plan. Thank goodness for school lunches at the pool!

Birds of a Feather

2011-07-24T21:47:00.001-05:00

I failed to get good pictures of the girls’ pink and purple highlights we allowed for fall break, but I got my act together this time. we made a special trip to BG to have them for vacation. Lucy cried when she didn’t get one.

Red and zebra for Had. She claims to dislike her coach O’Shea, but could not wait for him to see her feathers. What a nut!

Purple for Brianna. I guess as long as they aren’t bird brains, a few feathers won’t hurt.

Perfect Storm

2011-07-14T09:07:00.000-05:00

Every summer we have the makings of a perfect storm, and much like those poor souls in the movie, we see it coming and are powerless to stop the drowning that follows. It begins like this..... We live with no margin. You know, margin. The space around your paper so that when as a kid you had to write a really big word like photosynthesis or ethnocentric, it didn't run completely off the page. You know, margin. The areas we leave along roads so if you have to swerve you don't immediately topple off the hillside. You know,margin. The space we should leave in our lives so when a child is up all night sick, or a friend invites you to lunch, or work is a little more demanding, you don't completely fall apart. We have no margin. We fill each day to the max and then some. Then summer begins to show on the horizon. Just seeing it come closer on the pages of the calendar sends us rushing to sign up for additional sports. Spring/summer sports seasons always coincide with the end of the year activities like parties, and field trips and science fairs. The air warms and we race to get in garden. An activity we both love and hate as it takes considerable time and effort both in the field and the kitchen as the harvest begins. The few free Saturdays that exist we feel guilted into getting to the lake. Pack up, load up, sunscreen etc. Imagine packing for vacation each and every time you go. This has led to this summer where the lack of margin finally shoved the lake out almost completely. We have not been since May and not made either of our weekends for the lake house. Frustration!!! School lets out so everyone is home. No preschool or play dates etc. Just the four kids and me with all The assorted demands to be entertained, fed three or more times a day, and all day mess making. I carry Lucy way too much and for the second summer in a row develop serious pain. I mean high end painkillers kind of pain. I mean can a deacon's wife drink bourbon if it's for medicinal purposes pain. (I know,carry her less. Someday I won't be able to, but until then I plan on helping her slide and jump and swim and everything else. She is worth it.)
And then the church summer hits. Four weeks, usually back to back, of camp,VBS, cottage prayer meetings and revival. Four good weeks. Sometimes even great weeks, but exhausting is hardly the word. Add a few travel days from Brian and even before it begins I am screaming "MERCY!" I watch it coming. I know when it is over or even just part way through, I will have had it. My blood pressure will be up. My pain will be up. I will be threatening, as I did yesterday, to take a job as a hotel maid where I will at least be paid to do 20 loads of laundry in a week. Brian and I will be struggling to have a conversation beyond pick up times and how much supper cost. Three of the four kids will be mad at me, and one will say as we try to pick up supper while another is at cheer so we can eat before revival, "I want a new Mommy and Daddy. Mine are too mean." AHHHHHH!!!
There are rainbows after storms.... right?

Jackisms

2011-07-05T08:19:00.000-05:00

Jack never stops talking. He never stops talking, never stops moving, and requires very little sleep to keep it all going. He has been heard more than once to scream in the car because "we won't let him talk!" Don't be confused,he is welcome to join the conversation, but what he really wants is an opportunity to monologue. Jack is also the foremost authority on anything and if you don't agree with him, he is sure it is simply because he hasn't said it loud enough. Jack gives driving directions all the time. The fact that he doesn't drive, can't read and doesn't know is irrelevant. Jack likes to be in charge and he has to know what is going on. An answer of "I don't know." will bring him to his knees as he is convinced we are conspiring to keep him in the dark. He is still at an age that can only imagine the world he himself has witnessed and experienced. Everything else is the stuff of fairy tales.

Recent discussions I want to be sure I remember when I am ancient include..... We have booked a Disney Cruise for next spring. Jack was sharing in the car one day how much he wanted to go back to Disney World. Brianna in a somewhat rare moment of sisterly love started telling Jack how much he would love the Disney boat. Jack began to fall apart. "We will have no place to sleep. we can't take food for everyone. Mickey's head will not fit in the boat!" No amount of discussion could convince him this boat was bigger than our ski boat. I guess he'll just have to wait and see.

A girl at the pool busted her nose and there was lots of blood but "The ambulance came and wiped her up." The pool has been the location of several stories this summer. Most have to do with Jack and a little friend from Lucy's class. One day I heard him yelling "watch me" I turned and called back "I'm watching" "Not you Mama, her." This as he points out the cute girl in the butterfly swimsuit. This same girl is 5 going on 20 and is just as sure she is right as Jack. One day we were watching clouds roll in as we played in the pool and she decided the time had come for the lifeguards to blow their whistles and get everyone out. She discussed it with Jack whom of course disagreed and then headed to the lifeguard stand to be a voice of storm warning. Jack followed screaming at her.

Sunday, Jack was told to stop helping the dog chew. He was in his sister's rooms and when they yelled to get out, responded "I'm not even naked!" And finally he came to tell us he thought Lucy had played in poop because "I smelled her door." I really never know what this child will do next. At least it will be loud so I can keep up with him. As Brian said the other night as Jack was beating us to a pulp in his sleep after he joined us during a storm. "God bless his future wife." Amen.

No More Bad Moms

2011-07-02T09:38:00.000-05:00

One of my guilty pleasures is haunting the disboards late at night. The disboards are an online discussion group of all things Disney. Everything from room discounts to the best place to stay before a cruise can be found here. I find the practice of flaming particularly interesting. Flaming is slicing down a fellow disboarder for some perceived difference of opinion; often things as innocuous as the value of an over the door shoe organizer for storing trinkets in your hotel room, or the appropriateness of crocs for children's footwear. From an online reading point of view this can be mildly humorous, but really it is just a small version of what I witness many times a week in the "real world".
I was a college student at the height of the Mommy Wars. The eighties had preached the virtue of having it all and assured us moms could both break the glass ceiling of business and raise great kids. "We could bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan". The daughters of that church found maybe that wasn't really the case. As we floundered to discover what our own futures would look like it often became an all out battle between working and stay at home moms. It was late night fodder in sorority house hallways and senior seminars alike. Talk shows, books and magazines kept the skirmishes going. We may have proclaimed our position proudly,but underneath, most women I know were constantly second guessing choices and always feeling like they had short changed someone. Self heaped guilt was plentiful. At the end of the day,few people felt like "good moms."
As I have aged, the Mommy Wars over work and home seem to have calmed. I know a few women that are truly work over family dedicated. I know a few very traditional stay at home moms, but most fall somewhere in between. I have lots of friends and acquaintances that work part time or job share. Plenty of people that took jobs with hours that fit their kids schedules or agree to work different shifts from their husbands so childcare is not an issue. Lots of families with grandparents involved to make it all run smoothly. It would seem that should be enough. It isn't. Maybe women are just destined to second guess ourselves, but instead of dealing with our own feelings of guilt, we seem to have decided as a gender to "flame" those around us. Yes, we as women are busy burning down the people around us. Don't get me wrong, there really are some bad parents in the world. Heaven knows I watch kids walk into church every week whose parents don't know or care where they are. I see kids at school that have no help with homework or even a hot meal outside of what school provides. There are kids whose parents in the name of work have completely left them to the care of others and stay at home moms whom never let their kids see the light of day. But for most of us, we are berating our fellow moms for things that just don't matter.
I watch and hear it all the time. The mom that sits in the cheer parking lot during a closed practice "just in case" That's fine as long as she doesn't make other moms feel bad for not doing the same thing. I once threatened to wear a shirt to practice saying "I was at home all day, where were you?" My balance has me at home all day,but I use practice time to run errands. If you worked all day, but want to be with your child at practice, can't we agree that both of us are supporting our child and this is not bad parenting? What about food?? I really try to feed my kids healthy food, but I have one that never eats protein. If the best I can do that day is reece cups with 5 grams of protein each, please accept you have no idea what we deal with instead of commenting on candy for lunch. In exchange, I promise to keep my thoughts on blue applesauce and orange cheetos to myself. How about a peace treaty?
Let's agree that there really are some bad parents out there. And we need to call them on it. We need to get those kids some help. Let's agree that safety is a valid reason to speak up. How about we trust that parents know their own children and can make the best choices for their individual child (and it may not be what's best for yours). Let's agree that making a different choice for my child does not mean your choice is wrong. Let's agree it is okay to teach our kids our family values even if they disagree with yours. And then lets agree to stop flaming those around us for making different amoral choices.
I am sure I have plenty of guilt to share here, but I am declaring a truce. It is time to call the truly bad parents what they are but for most of the world, please let us keep our guilt on ourselves and give everyone else a break. Time to douse the flames and end the war.

Pickles

2011-06-28T09:06:00.001-05:00

We love to make pickles. I have serious space in the garden dedicated to cucumbers and we will still get more from the Mennonites down the road. We love to make them because we love to eat them. My kids think they are a side dish instead of a condiment. Brianna is almost the sole eater of the dill, but she goes through at least 6 pints a year. Jack and Lucy eat the above bread and butter. I am almost embarrassed to say it takes over 20 pints to keep them in the green. I do more pickles than applesauce. The dill have a nice grey green color. Very clear and sharp. The bread and butter have a brilliant yellow green. I love the look of the contrast on the counter. Of course the smell as they are cooking is excellent for clearing any sinus problems one might have.

Hamburger Dill Chips

4 lbs 4 inch cucumbers (curby’s work great)

6 Tblsp canning salt

4 1/2 cups water

4 cups vinegar

14 heads fresh dill (1hd= 2tsp dill seed)

3 1/2 tsp mustard seed

14 peppercorns

Wash cucumbers; drain. Cut cucumbers into 1/4 inch slices. Combine salt water and vinegar in saucepan and bring to a boil. Pack cucumbers into hot jars leaving a 1/4 inch head space. Really shove them in. You should get about 7 pints. To each jar add 2 heads of dill (I use the seeds) 1/2 tsp mustard seeds and 2 peppercorns (do not use ground pepper- it muddies the brine and tastes funny) Ladle hot brine over cucumbers leaving 1/4 inch head space. Adjust lids and bands and process in a hot water canner for 15 minutes. The pickles will not be ready to eat for at least 6 weeks.

Bread and Butter Pickles

4 lbs 4-6 inch cucumbers cut into 1/4 inch slices

2 lbs onions thinly sliced (remember you eat the onions as well so don’t cut too small)

Layer the cucumbers and onions with 1/3 cup canning salt and cover with ice cubes or very cold water. Let stand for 1 1/2 hours. Drain rinse drain again.

In a large saucepan, combine and bring to a boil

2 cups sugar

2 Tblsp mustard seeds

2 tsp tumeric

2 tsp celery seed

1 tsp ginger

1 tsp peppercorns

3 cups vinegar.

Add the drained cucumber and onions and return to a boil. Pack hot pickles and liquid into hot jars (it will make about 7 pints) Leave 1/4 inch headspace. Adjust lids and bands. Process for 10 minutes in a boiling water canner. ( it takes less processing time than dills because the entire product was hot going into the jars) Wait several weeks before enjoying.

Camp 2011

2011-06-27T10:00:00.001-05:00

As usual, I have so much more to say on my lessons from camp, but I know I have a few anxiously awaiting pictures so I guess they are coming first. I was really blessed to take 10 wonderful young girls. I promise to only believe part of what they said about their parents. The taller girl in the center was our cabin leader. I know plenty of people will argue with me, but I can’t help but believe we all need a week or so a year where we leave all the technology and distractions behind and just enjoy, God, nature and each other.

Hadley won at limbo.

We played this same game in the Delta Gamma front yard.

Cousin M listens patiently and with great trust as Hadley gives direction. This is not a game for me!

Papa John and O’Shea must be doing something right. Hadley danced and sang the whole week. She even led such activities. For those of you whom think Baptist’s don’t dance, a very sweet woman from our church once called it “the spiritual wiggle”. Dance a way.

We had 2 days of monsoon rains and a night of tornado warnings.

So we did a lot of crafts.

This is teamwork at its best. This is a huge teeter totter.

Organized Mass Chaos. This was an awesome game of wet sponges, hula hoops, Shaving cream, cheetos, toilet paper and assorted crazy antics. A good time was had by all.

The missionaries were fabulous as usual. We learned all about Kenya including trying on clothing and jewelry.

As some of you know, we struggled as a group last year to get the cooperation pennant. Struggle would be putting it mildly. This year, we left with a solid goal in place to be good sports, kind and generous campers and helpful to others. Even their leader needed a few reminders. We did it!! Even on the days only a few cabins were chosen, we still got the cooperation award. I am sure a few well timed notes of encouragement from our older praying ladies at home helped.

From Aunt Mary's Bookshelf

2011-06-20T06:05:00.001-05:00

I have spent the last few days pouring over a 1969 Ball Blue Book that undoubtedly came from my great Aunt Mary's kitchen shelf. I have an up to date canning guide, but this has made for awesome reading for a food anthropology geek like myself. I have learned the difference between a catchup and a sauce; how many jars it will take to can an 800lb steer (175-200); the proper way to can broccoli, even though as it states "It will discolor and take on a very strong taste." I now know my 3 berry jam is actually a conserve. And finally, if I want to feed my family for a year I need 252 quarts of tomatoes or juice, 400 plus cans of assorted fruits and vegetables and at least 52 quarts of pickles. This is only part of the list. It should be noted that according to the USDA at the time, you only need can for 36 weeks of eating as fresh foods should be available the other 16 weeks. I don't think fast food was counted in here. My favorite recipe was on the last page.

How to Preserve a Husband

Be careful in your selection. Do not choose too young. When selected, give your entire thoughts to preparation for domestic use. Some wives insist upon keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them into hot water. This may make them sour, hard and sometimes bitter; even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good, by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. Wrap them in a mantle of charity. Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream. Thus prepared, they will keep for years.

Bending Low

2011-06-17T08:57:00.000-05:00

I have a serious issue with words and images. They stick with me. Great if one is taking a test, not so great if it's a horror movie and bed. I am extremely cautious about the shows and movies I watch and even the books I read. One of Brian's first "leader of our home" acts was to throw away the book I was reading on our honeymoon- it was giving me nightmares. Sometimes this little quirk is funny. Brian and Michael love to look at me when someone is reminiscing about a moment in time and ask "What were you wearing?" Sad but true, I usually know. Other times, it becomes a tool the devil uses to beat me up over and over again.
I spend alot of time doing jobs that many people think are beneath them. Sometimes I even fall short at those goals. And when the dishes don't get finished, or the kids are acting awful, I hear those voices. "You are a bad mother. You are a bad wife. You are the problem." Long after someone has apologized they are the images that wake me in the night. When I volunteer at school, or clean up poop yet again I hear that voice "Any idiot can wash paint trays." Individuals said them once, but the devil whispers them in my ear repeatedly, so that the seeds of discontentment swell and push forth a garden of weeds yelling back at God and others "Haven't I done enough? You are asking too much. Why doesn't anyone appreciate what I am doing here?" And my pride takes root and it quickly becomes all about me. Like any good gardener, God knows that weeds have to be rooted out and sometimes that is hard. In their place, you have to fill in something good or the weeds will move back. Just as I turn the channel on CSI, and fill the space with a comedy I have to fill my mind with God and reminders that I really haven't been asked to bend so low. That I am barely bending when I should probably be kneeling at the throne of glory.
If you aren't reading www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com begin immediately. She is a wonderful reminder of the call and privilege to bend low.

The Day the Refridgerator sort of, almost,but not really Died

2011-06-14T21:18:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I woke up a few minutes after six with a splitting headache (stress related, but that's another story). Brian had already left for work and I was desperately seeking excedrin. I could hear a terrible sound coming from the kitchen. I stumbled blindly, groping in the cabinet for that blessed green bottle and patting myself on the back for setting the coffee pot the night before. The sound, half screech half grinding motor seemed to be beating on the outside of my head as hard as the tension was pounding the inside. Still waiting for the drug caffeine cocktail to kick in, I started checking around the fridge. The sound was definitely coming from the back of it. I go get Lucy who is up despite the fact she never gets up before 6:30 even on school days. She keeps patting her ear at the terrible sound. Jack comes down stairs holding his ears. I keep laying hands on the fridge in hopes it will still be cold. I alert Brian to the possible appliance emergency. In the meantime, I start working on forms for camp. I call Ky WMU to get a fax number. I drink more coffee. I assure Lucy for the hundredth time we will be going to the pool. I try to track down the minister and Brian or Ivan to get signatures on camp forms. I read a stack of picture books. The sound continues to drone and I am near panic. I drink more coffee. At this point it seems more efficient to drink while sitting in the bathroom. If I can do this and read to Lucy and help Jack with math and finish printing camp forms I might get it all done. Make blueberry smoothies for breakfast. Finally, I get Jack and Lucy in the car. I head out to pick Brianna and Hadley up from friends. I stop at the office. Track down the minister in town. Run in Dollar General for bread. While in DG I remind the clerk her daughter hasn't turned in her forms for camp. "What forms? What camp? When?" I assure her I will bring her forms. Pick up the girls by a few minutes after nine. Rush back to the office to get forms notarized and faxed. Discuss with Brian the imminent danger of the fridge death. Fly back home to pack up for the pool. As we enter, the house is eerily silent. Sure of the worst I run to the fridge. It feels cold. Kim is a lovely lady that comes on Monday to help with laundry. She is humming as she sorts clothes. I am frantic. "Did you hear the noise? How long has it been down?" Kim answered calmly "I did hear that noise. I looked around the fridge and found a magnetic toy on the side. I think the toy's battery had died. I just turned it off." Maybe I need more caffeine.

Artichoke Chicken

2011-06-11T07:56:00.000-05:00

2-3 pounds chicken breasts
1/4-1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
garlic, salt and pepper to taste
1 large can artichoke hearts or 2 of the glass jars (chop or tear into pieces)
1 jar sun dried tomato Alfredo sauce. (If you have to, mix Alfredo with marinara)
2 cups mozzarella cheese shredded

Layer the ingredients in the order listed, leaving off the mozzarella cheese. Bake covered at 375 for 45 minutes. Uncover and sprinkle with the mozzarella cheese. Bake an additional 15-20 minutes or until the chicken breast are done. There is huge variation in the cook time of this dish based on the kind of chicken you use. Be sure to check for doneness. Serve with angel hair pasta and or wilted spinach.

Read to Me

2011-06-09T08:01:00.000-05:00

The sound of Brian's voice is one of my favorite things in the world. I love to hear him say my name. I love the way he thinks and describes things, so it stands to reason I love to hear him read. My sister once said she would marry on the spot a man that gave her a dozen sharpened pencils, for me it is a man with a book, or an ipad in this case. We are what our environment has made us and mine made me a reader. My mom read more books than I can count. My dad read us Robert the Rose Horse complete with the big ACHOOOS!! more times than he would like to count. Mam-ma Read us Lyle Lyle Crocodile and Alexander and the Wind up Mouse. I bought these for my kids and was shocked at how long they were. I can't believe she read these so many afternoons despite her to do list. Dad says he remembers one of us girls asking Pap-pa to read as he was headed out the door to milk or plow tobacco and he turned around, set down his hat and read the book. That is some serious love. I don't have to remember that exact moment to know that a farmer really loves you when he pauses work in the middle of the day to read There's a Monster at the End of This Book. Pap-pa had this funny chuckle of a laugh and I can still see and hear him as we moved through Grover's antics, as if each reading was a surprise. He and my grandmother spent hours sitting in their chairs in the living room reading the assortment of periodicals and farm journals that piled up on the floor. Last night Brian sat in his recliner, I sat rocking in my antique chair. Brian scanned articles on the ipad about the economy, the national debt, the causes of inflation. He shared paragraphs and quotes he found interesting. Interrupted my own thoughts with deep questions about one writer or another's opinion. I perused my old fashioned magazines and answered back with funny stories or a picture of grilled romaine and a fact about bananas. We savored the presence of each other and the sound of our voices dripping with humor and love. (alright that's his mind, we all know mine drips with sarcasm) Two minds, that as we read ,get to think and enjoy together. I will never tire of being read to. It worked for my grandparents for 60 years. I think we'll keep it up.

Memorial Day 2011

2011-06-04T09:07:00.001-05:00

This year was plenty warm enough to enjoy the lake in May. It is 24 feet above summer pool, so the docks are impossible to get to, but Brian and Michael managed by putting the boat in and taking it out each day. The swim deck (which is the way into the boat from the water) broke at the end of last summer. Brian and I are so scattered, it never occurred to us to get it fixed until, you guessed it- May. We went anyways. Getting out is easy, but to get in you had to hoist yourself onto the tube, get your body weight pulled up and then balance on the tube while throwing yourself/ climbing into the boat. We tried to make sure no other boats were coming by as I am sure this is what beached whales look like. They may be more graceful.

Jack shows us how it’s done.

Learning to swim.

Jack and Uncle Michael are so cool.

Lucy loves the boat. She loves to go fast and feel the wind in her hair, and listen to Daddy sing.

My Lords and Ladies

2011-06-04T08:55:00.001-05:00

As a finish to Brianna’s unit on Medieval Europe, we attended the Tennessee Renaissance Festival. Very interesting. We toured a castle and watched jousting. The music was excellent. It was not a wheelchair friendly place leaving us to consider getting a jogging stroller for such excursions. And, we saw a lot of really weird people. I was unaware this was a lifestyle choice. Very fun. We concluded with a trip to Cock of the Walk. Hadley is not intentionally excluded from pictures, she was just in another mood. She is one middle child that will never get lost in the shuffle.

Lucy, like Hadley, struggles to express herself. Interesting fact- this was the castle in a Taylor Swift video.

Fried pickles can help anyone’s attitude. Jack ate his weight in them.

Not sure if Mama or Lucy is more nervous when we try to take a picture like this.

Dawn’s Graduation

2011-06-04T08:44:00.001-05:00

I had to include this shot as it is truly a snapshot of our lives. Here we have our sweet angel Dawn, all grown up and graduating from WKU. Doesn’t she look beautiful!! Brianna is also looking very grown up. You can read the mischief on Jack’s face. Lucy is being carried as usual. Hadley is refusing to participate or smile as her way of expressing her dislike for Dawn’s boyfriend. Please Hadley, don’t hold anything back. And then of course there is my eye. I have no idea how Dawn put up with us for 3 years, but we love her for it. Congratulations!

The Lottery

2011-05-28T07:29:00.000-05:00

At a business dinner this week, the conversation, as it often does among agrarian based business people, turned to feeding the world. After the usual banter about the challenges of ethanol vs feeding corn to people etc, someone looked at our congealing leftovers of grilled asparagus, steaks and scallops and pointed out how just being born in America was like winning the lottery. That our children had really won the lottery. It is a comment we have heard before, and one that we always find uncomfortable. Brian and I always share a knowing glance; it is not them, but us that won the lottery. In a world where plenty of infertile couples struggle with an unfilled kitchen table, and failed adoptions break hearts every day, we have four precious faces around our table, in the rear view mirror, and climbing into our bed during storms. We are the lucky ones.
But like most lottery recipients, we sometimes wonder if we haven't squandered our win. Like the instant millionaires who scoff at investment advice only to seek out a broker when they are down to a few thousand. "Can't you help me make this more??" The years that seemed to stretch endlessly before us, suddenly seem terribly short. Can we really be at middle school? Wasn't I just sobbing in Immanuel Baptist Church's parking lot as I dropped my oldest off for her first day of preschool? Can I really just be months away from having everyone in school all day? What happened to days of Mama directed play, princesses and pink cowboy boots? When did spending time with dear old Mom and Dad become boring at best and more likely... embarrassing. The days race by filled with cheerleading, ball games, sleepovers and homework. I complain about clothes in the hall and cars filled with fast food containers and leaking cups. We argue over technology and chores. And, we wonder. I worry. Is it all just too fast, too much. In the rush of the daily, have we buried our real talent?
I want to make sure we use our winnings wisely. That we invest in them and not just in the moment. I hope when our kids look back, they remember meals around the table, and great family trips. I hope Hadley remembers the hour playing ball on the beach and the late night conversation more than the cheer event. That Brianna will know she matters because her parents weren't too busy to remind her that "she is fearfully and wonderfully made" that she is "who the great I AM " says she is. That we taught them all by example-word and deed- that all people matter and are worth the sacrifice. That we are here for but a moment and only investments in God's bank really yield returns.
We don't play the lottery, it is a poor investment. Our children are a gift and not a win. And what they become a blessing and not a trophy. God is the only perfect parent and even then His children are far from perfect. Dear God, let me hold my trust with open hands and truly be thankful. And let us all remember how blessed we are and give back to those who aren't.

How can I stay upset when....

2011-05-18T20:04:00.000-05:00

Thing 1 comes home having had an antibiotic induced incident at school. Thing 2 is in different clothes because she literally bit a hole in the first shirt. Thing 1 runs inside from backyard with liquid poop puddling in his shoes. While cleaning Thing 1 up, Thing 2 plays in poop to guarantee equal attention for all. 1 bath and third set of clothes for the day later, Mama attempts to clean up kitchen. Thing 2, upset at being expected to self entertain for even a moment, takes revenge and plays in poop one more time. Put her in tub. Thing 1 now has another explosive moment. While dealing with him, Thing 2 explodes in the bathtub water. At what point is it acceptable to start crying. Get Thing 1 and Thing 2 cleaned up yet again. Thing 1 smiles at me and says "I'm really happy you are my Mama." Thing 2 nods vehemently "YES, YES" I guess there are worse things than poop. But prayers for cleaner days still accepted... please.

There is more story to this but....

2011-05-10T09:02:00.000-05:00

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but I am not taking pictures of these events. I am completley immersed in One Thousand Gifts so I am trying to be thankful. This week I am thankful for...

Our lovely preacher's wife for bringing food while Brianna and I were at Vanderbilt
Friends, inlaws, and help that did whatever needed to be done while we were at Vandy
A doctor that lets Brianna break food rules so she'll eat
A child old enough to finally understand eating= go home
Wonderful friends that take over the care of my kids when one in a million accidents happen
Cheer dad that drove me to urgent care despite concerns I might vomit in his car and the looks I am sure he got from the staff.
Cell phones (I am sure this thanks will be short lived)
Big sunglasses
Clorox wipes
Aunt Lana's homemade soap that removes really awful smells better than anything else I know
Multiple PBS channels thanks to our new local cable
A really great husband

These, like the tales of my Dad biting his tongue half off, the ski trip with a migraine, and Brian's assorted injuries, will be the stories we will tell forever.

US Finals 2011

2011-04-27T13:16:00.002-05:00

Brianna chose to stay with a friend, but the rest of us headed to Indy for the big finale to cheer season. As usual, traveling with us is interesting. After several bathroom stops, lots of rain and many MANY rounds of Lucy’s favorite songs, we arrived in downtown Indianapolis to find several conferences and proms had taken over the local establishments. We attempted to eat at Webbers Grill and an Italian place before realizing we were much better satisfied with cheeseburgers and shakes from Steak and Shake. Of course we were running up and down the street without Lucy’s wheelchair and holding her hands down to make sure she didn’t destroy anyone’s hair while packed into an elevator. A note on current prom dresses- YUCK!! Too short, too high heels, too much skin, just a general “what were they thinking.” Also curious after this event and our stay at Vandy- When did the “F-word” become acceptable in public conversation??
We slept in the next day. There comes a point it is simply impossible to watch all teams from your own gym and still keep family sanity. Yes, we know we are awful. I got Hadley’s curlers in late so she wore them to lunch at PF Changs and around town till the competition. We did have Lucy’s wheelchair this time,but as usual, the world is so far from accessible. We were directed across a parking garage and down an elevator that didn’t meet directly with the floor requiring the chair to be picked up etc. I’m not sure why these things tear me up so much. I just fear Lucy will never be able to manage independently as long as silly things like that are allowed to happen. Maybe architects and city planners need to spend a few days on wheels instead of on foot.
We arrived at the competition to enjoy team after team of amazing athletes. I am so impressed with what these young girls accomplish. Lucy enjoys the music and Jack has plenty of little brothers to play with. We all just really enjoyed each others company. We talked and laughed. I balanced multiple cups of to go coffee. We cajoled Jack and Lucy into trying Ahi Tuna. We visited every bathroom in the downtown area, and of course took in other ideas like the homeless man with the cardboard sign “Why lie. It’s for beer.” Good times.

Not sure the little brothers had enough sleep. I know Brian didn’t. He woke up when the team above us at the hotel started practicing at 4:45am.

I have tried all year to get this picture to turn out and still failed. Oh well… That’s Had in the back striking her final all attitude pose. Great Year Total Cheer!

Play Ball!

2011-04-19T09:47:00.002-05:00

Brian has made the move from softball to baseball and last night was the beginning of what we hope will be long careers for father and son at Youth Inc. Baseball! This is Jack’s game face. I am confident I have the too cutest boys on the field. High points of the game included Jack holding down his own team mate with me yelling from the stands to “LET GO” “Okay Mama!!” And, Jack making the final catch of the game and instead of throwing the ball home, dutifully touching all the bases in order before taking the ball home. He was so proud.

I guess Hadley needed to pitch. Jack slams the ball back at her head, but against the high school asst coach/ Eli’s dad, he batted butterflies.

Yes, there are more coaches on the field than kids! The best quote in the stands was from a grandfather to his daughter "They do realize there have already been 3 outs?" No,the kids don't but I'm sure a few parents kept up. Really, I don't have a clue. I just loved opening day. Aren't these the moments we dreamed of??

Do Not Leave Me Alone with Hadley

2011-04-19T09:39:00.001-05:00

Hadley had too much time over spring break and Lucy was the receiver of her extra energy. I can only imagine what Lucy was thinking.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

2011-04-15T08:21:00.000-05:00

"Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's exhausted and ready to bite and claw?" No, not me, but just as that mirror of the wicked stepmother sometimes gave her news she didn't want, so has my mirror. My mirror, or mirrors have names. They are shorter than me, have many of my bad habits and call me Mama. They reflect my attitude and issues back just as well as a mirror. I would like to think a sometimes funhouse distortment, but a mirror none the less.
The last two weeks have certainly been a good examples. I am an introvert. Yes, let the laughter of "tell us something we didn't know" begin. I have heard there are those among us that are charged and invigorated by parties and big events, that the thrill of interactions with multiple people keeps them going. Who are you nuts??? Oops. Rephrase "outgoing delights." We are in the middle of a redecorating project. I love what is happening to my house. I love the new butter yellow smiling from my walls. I adore the way the chocolate brown paper with accents from my Longaberger dishes matches and shows off the wood and granite in my kitchen. I am ecstatic about the ordering of my raspberry colored couch and chairs. Now Mirror on the Wall, please send a fairy godmother with a wand to install it all. Instead, installation has come with decorators, painters, carpet layers, as well as my usual support team of therapists and household help. Please don't think the blessings are escaping me. I know I am really lucky to have these things and people, but... It is exhausting. Even the nicest of people begin to challenge me when I don't have space to myself. The simple joy in going to the bathroom with no one calling your name. I asked Brianna why she was, for the upteenth time, standing in the doorway while I sat on my throne. "It's just such a good time to talk to you." Ahhhh. But as days and hours with people have increased, Brianna and Lucy have, just like their Mama, begun to chaff. The rolled eyes. The stomp up the steps, the escape to the basement girl cave. Okay, I may- may roll my eyes, but I do not stomp. As my pressure and exhaustion from having to talk to people and being unable to get into my kitchen (my place of solace and stress relief) so has Lucy's. I think I manage pretty well, that I increase my coffee and hide in the basement with Brianna. That we went to the zoo and to the park to get out of the house. That less stressful Aunt Karen and cousins came to give me a buffer. But... my mirror is screaming back "TOO MUCH!" And since Lucy has no words or ability to stomp away, she is biting and clawing. My attitude, my issues, made manifest in Lucy's actions. Mirrors tell no lies. Time for me to smile back at my yellow paint and those filling the room with it. Time for my inner attitude to be joyful and then perhaps I will find a way to speak nicely to those around me and not get caught talking to objects on my wall.

Daytona 2011

2011-04-04T21:20:00.001-05:00

It has been a rough winter. Lots of snow and plenty of sickness have combined to put all of us in at best a funk, at worst depression. We have dealt with excessive anxiety, high blood pressure and the death of a classmate. The girls and their Mama were very much in need of the break a cheer competition in Daytona offered. We decided to fly and got a much better deal by traveling on Thursday and Monday. Brian very graciously managed the home front and little people. Like all things we do, it was a juggling act. We brought in some one brand new to Jack and Lucy to manage the Friday and Saturday- this is called trial by fire, or in our case trial by biting, hair pulling and bodily fluids - and school kept Lucy on Thursday when they probably should have sent her home. We flew out on a VERY early flight. When we landed we waited in a crazy long line to get our rental car. I guess the representative was overwhelmed by the huge family groups and golf bags. She took one look at my little group of 3 with only 1 suitcase and offered us a free upgrade to a VW Bug. It made the girls trip. Hadley told her “you have made my dreams come true!”

On to Daytona we went. We soaked up rays, walked on the beach and ate excessive amounts of crab. Oh yeah, we cheered a little too.

One flips. The other runs. No need for photos, but Mama sat and read.

On Sunday we drove back to Orlando where we spent the afternoon and evening at Downtown Disney. We lunched on enormous ice cream sundaes from Ghiradeli. Best hot fudge ever. Spent a few hours playing at Disney Quest, where Brianna got up to 11 upside downs on the virtual Space Mountain. Disney Imagineers look out! And, shopped all that is Disney. What a wonderful trip.

Aquarium of the Smokies

2011-04-04T17:59:00.001-05:00

A cheer competition in Gatlinburg gave of the opportunity to enjoy this really fabulous aquarium between performances. This is in the tunnel that goes through an enormous fish tank. Yes, we are headed back to the competition site. I don’t wear mardi gras beads just to hit the town!

I love seeing the girls this excited about learning.

Sharks up close and personal.

Even Hadley couldn’t eat this crab!

The fish overhead and the marks on the plexi glass from a shark attack were a little unnerving!

But the views were more than worth it.

Jack and Lucy are 5!

2011-04-04T17:33:00.001-05:00

Hadley is 10!!!

2011-04-04T16:36:00.001-05:00

Ever the sports fan, H chose a competitive fun and games night for her birthday. New friends and old gathered at the church’s CLC for pizza relay races and Titan’s cake.

Blowing ping pong balls across the floor and turning the Hixsons into toilet paper snowmen were the highlights of the night.

Can you hear me squealing!?!

2011-01-13T07:37:00.001-06:00

L squeals with delight when she is happy. Actually,it can be a little painful for the listener,but we’ll take it over mad any day. This sweet jumper is a gift from one of L’s favorite people in the whole world. Miss Karla loves L and L thinks she hung the moon. L has a sign and a word for Kar- Kar. In other words Karla is important. L carried this gift from school clutched in her hand, determined not to fling or release it as so often happens. Thanks Miss Karla for all you do! We love you!

Cousins, Dogs, and More Cousins

2011-01-13T07:29:00.001-06:00

I am not sure I have seen cousin L NOT in a tutu in the last year. Of course they always match her shirt and hair bow and usually have sparkly shoes to complete the ensemble.

J dealt with the post Christmas let down by snuggling with Lily.

As the theme for this winter seems to be “Let it Snow”, we spent an afternoon sledding. Yes, that is an elf giving sledders a start.

Mama gets some last minute instructions on how to sled with no direction controls and hold L.

And sure enough, we had turned completely around by the bottom. Laughing all the way!

Christmas Day 2010

2011-01-11T22:28:00.001-06:00

We really think this was one of the prettiest trees we have ever had. Brian picks the tree and I don’t even go. He always does a wonderful job and I never second guess myself!

The teenage years have begun. A Coach wristlet was the delight of the morning.

H loves Legos! And to be truthful, so does Mama. Two years ago the girls got a Hogwarts Castle and J destroyed it in the middle of the night. This is the newest one and J was immediately threatened with his life. Maybe Santa should send an extra just in case.

L loves Toy Story.

I’m always amazed at the mess that takes over our living room. It was so nice to have time to play with gifts.

Christmas Eve 2010

2011-01-11T22:07:00.001-06:00

The big Celsor event finally got moved off Christmas morning making the overall holiday more manageable. The kids are all growing up.I find it interesting that we started with all girls and seem to be finishing with all boys.

I think L and Pappy were imitating Sing a ma jigs.

L completely got the present opening thing this year. She opened as long as she could get to a package- hers or others.

Lots of boy toys this year. Aircraft carrier, space shuttle, Batman…..

Christmas Eve,the kids (and adults) were delighted to welcome huge magical snowflakes. We ran out to be a part of the fun. The flakes were as big as quarters. J and L couldn’t resist tasting a few!

Daddy and J sprinkled reindeer feed in the backyard so Santa would be sure to find our house.

Brown Paper Bags

2010-12-24T09:10:00.000-06:00

I'm sure my childhood Christmases were wilder than I remember. There were parties, and strep throat, and cookies to bake. I remember variety in events from year to year. Caroling some,but not all. Lots of people and just a few depending on who had leave. A year with so much snow the church youth went sledding every weekend for a month. Great presents. Not so great presents. Fun relatives and well... you get the idea. But what I remember most are brown paper bags.
My best friend's church was just down the road from us. A beautiful German styled brick and stone building with stained glass windows that actually raised to let in fresh spring and summer air. I have never forgotten the Sunday we worshipped as a thunder storm rolled in across the tobacco field outside. It's a small building with a little sanctuary and a basement for Sunday school. Every year, St.Paul held a Christmas eve service. It would be dark and cold outside while the inside of the little building was bulging at the seams with parishioners and visitors like myself, all dressed in their holiday best. This wasn't a night for doctrinal differences- just the coming together of a community to welcome the Savior. The program was the same every year. The youth read by candlelight, the children acted the parts of the nativity,and the congregation sang every traditional hymn you can imagine. Loud booming voices of hardworking farmers mixed with warbly sopranos from little old ladies in dresses and snow boots. I never remember a song leader,but to my little mind,the program seemed to have a life of its own. ( I always wanted to be in this program as the parts were assigned on a rotational basis guaranteeing every girl eventually played Mary etc- a fairness for which I had great respect.) At the front of the church stood what I was sure was the largest tree ever. A towering cedar tree covered in lights, crowding the first few rows and filling the area with a fresh sweet smell. Every year the same and every year an opportunity to set aside the craziness that leads up to Christmas and for just an hour or so become fully wrapped up in the mystery and joy that is really Christmas. I always went home and changed or added to my letter to Santa to something about peace and good will. But not before we got one of those wonderful brown paper bags. Better than any trick or treat bucket or Valentine treat. A plain brown bag filled with oranges and full size candy bars. Hershey's, Peanut butter cups,and sweet and sour suckers. All the smells and tastes and memories of Christmas in plain wrapping. Sweet. Simple. Perfect.

Christmas Is Not For Introverts

2010-12-23T08:43:00.001-06:00

"If I had my way- and I shan't- my Christmas day eating and drinking would consist of an omelet, cold ham and a nice bottle of wine at lunchtime, and a smoked salmon sandwich with a glass of champagne on a tray in the evening. This lovely,selfish,anti gorging, un- Christmas dream of hospitality either given or taken, must be shared by thousands of women who know it's all Lombard Street to a China orange that they'll spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas morning peeling,chopping,mixing, boiling,roasting and steaming. They will eat and drink too much, that someone will say the turkey isn't quite as good as last year, or discover the rum for the pudding has been forgotten. .........We are so many fathoms deep in custom, tradition and sentiment over Christmas; we have got so far with our obsessive present buying and frenzied cooking, from
the spirit of a simple Christian festival, that only the most determined of scrooges can actually turn their faces to the wall and ignore the whole thing when the time comes. All the same, there must be quite a few small families, couples without children, and people living alone, who like to celebrate Christmas in a reasonably modest and civilized way: inviting a friend or two who might otherwise be alone (well, maybe like you and me, they'd rather BE alone, but this is an eccentricity not accepted at Christmas time.)
Elizabeth David
Elizebeth David's Christmas

Such is the first chapter of a lovely book written by a contemporary of Julia Child. Each year, somewhere between Halloween and Thanksgiving, I look at our rapidly filling calendar and I begin our annual conversation on required events.
Me- "Promise me if we found out I was dying, I would get one last Christmas my way."
Brian- "I promise, absolutely, we'll make it happen."
Me- "Even though it will make other people mad?"
Brian- "Even then."
Me- "Isn't it sad I have to die to get this?"
Brian- "Then make it happen this year."

And while we both know it won't happen, I love him for saying it will. Christmas just isn't an event for introverts. For those of us whom the real meaning of the season is found in sitting in quiet reflection beneath the tree. A friend and I once spent a wonderful afternoon lying under the tree just staring through the lights and tinsel. Or who dream of years with homemade ornaments, the smell of baking bread that will be secretly left on door steps- No huge announcement please, and time to play with the few carefully chosen gifts. Time for advent calendars and solemn, candle lit, worshipful church services to welcome the King. Everyone else demands the actual day,why can't He. This is the point each year that I become officially fried. Be patient with me, I am trying.

CPC Dinners 2010 or What to do with 30lbs of Cream Cheese

2010-12-21T15:24:00.001-06:00

Most years, I do the desserts for the employee Christmas dinner. It is always a challenge to cook for so many. It is also fun in a stressful,self abusing kind of way. I do large scale cooking just enough to know I never want a job in this area. There is always some new twist such as J throwing a cake down the basement stairs, or complete icing disasters. This was the first year weather caused problems and made what is usually 2 days of chaos into 4 plus unplanned “elves” home from school. I thought this year I would try to put in pictures what 30 lbs of cream cheese, 6 dozen eggs, a few gallons of whipping cream and 15 pounds of sugar can do to your kitchen.

Big cooking needs big bowls.

We did 16 cheesecakes. Brian and Had both helped.

And then we killed the kitchen aid mixer. That is oil dripping from the motor. My 15 year old Sunbeam that gets used at least 3 x per week kept right on going.

Of course paying attention to food means L was on her own. She used her time to go through the recycling. As B says to L, “You cardboard shredder, you!”

Space Camp

2010-12-19T14:58:00.002-06:00

Through these doors enter America’s future Astronauts, Scientists and Engineers

B and I had the opportunity to spend a weekend at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama. We lived in the space habitat and tried out all kinds of simulators. We also learned about space history, designed rockets, and flew a space mission. B was the commander of the mission. She did very well. Her mother was a basket case!

Having run of the museum at night was really exciting.

Performing experiments in the International Space station.

Walking on the moon.

Water Parks

2010-12-19T14:34:00.001-06:00

Really,this is the last Disney post. We love water parks and were a little worried the weather would not cooperate. We had to adjust the schedule, But we found two awesome days for water play.

I can’t believe we got away with this,but Brian put L in a tube and launched her down a small slide.

This padded area at Blizzard Beach made it perfect for L.

Any day where you can play to exhaustion, eat huge ice cream sundaes and smoked turkey legs,and fall into blissful sleep is a great day.

I would be remiss if I didn’t tell one of the traveling home stories. For some insane reason,we made the trip home in one day. Yes, our pictures can be found next to the word “insanity”. At one point J and L were taking turns yelling back and forth at each other and then blowing very wet raspberries. They were not fussing and found the whole thing hilarious. Exhaustion can make parents do strange things. Brian finally said “As long as you stop yelling, you can keep spitting at each other.” That folks, is called creative parenting.

The Dance

2010-12-16T10:02:00.000-06:00

A few minutes after we were seated at Boma, I was placing drink orders for my crew that was rushing the buffet line, and I noticed a family being seated behind us. I saw the dad first, pushing a travel wheelchair with a boy about nine. He didn't have full head control and wore those all telling braces on his feet. The boy was transferred to a regular chair situated between Dad and Grandpa. Mom, Sister, and Grandma filled the other side. I couldn't help but stare a little and keep turning to observe what I knew was probably us in five years. L was wide open and keeping her from clearing the table was pretty consuming, but I kept glancing back. This time everyone at the table was in the buffet line except for the boy and Grandpa. Grandpa's arm was draped protectively around Boy's shoulders and he was smiling and seemed to be sharing some fabulous secret. Dad returned and began feeding Boy. In a few moments, Grandma was beside Boy, patting his hand, casually wiping his mouth. Few more crazy minutes at our own table and then I glanced back again. There was an almost effortless,unspoken movement around the table. Each adult taking a turn at comforting or feeding Boy, each adult having a chance to fill his or her own plate, each one taking time to look adoringly on Sister. No one was stressed, smiles and soft laughter drifted over the food. Another look from me and the song had played on. Dad was helping sister get dessert. Mom was helping Boy with a straw, Grandpa headed for more food. It was like watching a beautiful Viennese waltz. Oh that we could all strive to dance as beautifully as this young man and his many partners.

Animal Kingdom

2010-12-15T08:43:00.002-06:00

In Animal Kingdom, we once again arrived very early for breakfast and then were able to be on one of the first safari expeditions of the day. It was amazing. The animals roam semi freely so you never know what you will see. Morning was promoted as the best views and we were not disappointed.

When will we ever be this close to a giraffe?!? It just kept coming closer as we all snapped pictures and held our breath in awe.

And who isn’t a sucker for baby elephants.

As usual, we then parted ways so big people could ride expedition everest, and little people could find characters.
We met back up for the Lion King show. We had front row seats and characters paid special attention to L. J was invited to be part of the show.

After lunch, Mama had intended for us all to rest before supper at Boma, mine and Brian’s favorite place to eat at Disney, but the lure of AK was just too strong. B and H had more rides to find and we all wanted to see Nemo and Tough to be a Bug. As we entered the 3-D bug experience, J was unsure. By the time it started he was screaming. This would not have been funny but for L’s cackles at the same show. Of course this made J fuss at L which made her laugh harder. What would we do with out siblings. ; )
The Dig is just a huge playground that everyone loved.

And then we found flying dinosaurs. So much for rest, and yes, exhaustion reigned.

Chef Mickey’s & Pirates

2010-12-14T07:23:00.001-06:00

Swing your napkin and celebrate with Mickey and Friends. Who has time to eat with such shenanigans!

Spinning for my pirate name.

We patiently await our pirate transformation.

L chose to stay a princess!!

Hollywood Studios

2010-12-10T10:46:00.001-06:00

Hollywood Studios was probably B and H’s favorite place. They could not wait to ride Rock N Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror and they were not disappointed. They are serious thrill riders. Of course HS is also the home of the Pixar characters. J and L both love Toy Story. We rode Toy Story Mania only once due to the long lines. It is supposedly the most popular ride in all 4 parks. The “green men” are awesome. They put on impromptu street shows and “draft” kids into missions.

I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised by B’s willingness to actively participate in all things Disney. I’m not kidding- they really are sprinkling Pixie dust in the ice cream bars.

B and H really wanted L to like the ears,but as you can see, her smile was accepting at best.

We waited in line for several minutes to see Buzz and Woody, but the queue was so well done, we explored and took pictures making time fly. After all, when else can you strap your little brother to a rocket!

Woody was so sweet with L. He took so much time with her,and L just came alive. She sparkled and smiled and looked on Woody with complete adoration. It was one of those mama moments when I had to fight back the tears.

This is a show your age picture. If you know who this is, you are under 10 or have small children.

I just love these pictures.

* I really do promise to only do a few more posts on Disney!

Hot Chocolate

2010-12-03T06:54:00.002-06:00

Our house is freezing this morning so we started with steaming cups of sweet hot chocolate. I actually measured the ingredients so I can give you an accurate recipe. (I rarely measure)

In a large saucepan, combine 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips and 1 1/2 cups cream. Heat over medium heat until the chocolate chips melt. Stir continuously so the chocolate doesn't stick,but don't whip the cream. When you have a nice chocolate sauce, stir in 7 cups of milk and heat through. Yum.

A word of warning- once you make this, your family will never again accept envelopes full of chocolate powder.

Laughter

2010-11-25T11:06:00.003-06:00

This summer Brian and I celebrated our 14th anniversary. As we enjoyed an over the top meal at Ruth's Chris,he asked "What had been the best events of the last 14 years and no usual answers like our kids arrival etc?" After a few minutes of discussion, we decided the boat and all the activities that go with it and Disney World were tops on our best moments list. I have pondered how we both saw light, fun moments as the highlights of our 14 years. And then I began to realize it is the lighter moments of everyday that keep us going. Brian pulled me into a hug this morning and whispered, "I just love to hear you laugh." Brian must love to hear me, because he works so hard to make sure we keep laughing. As I contemplate blessings this morning, laughter is at the top of my list.

I am thankful for the sounds of giggles outside my window. I am thankful for the millions of comments around our dinner table such as "take the spoon out of your hair" "Don't put your feet on the table" "Quit licking your glass." "Only grownups are allowed to throw food." I love the comments like "B, you do too have time to tie up J. Come down here and do it." "Shut the playroom door if you are going to play baseball in there."

I am thankful I have a husband that can laugh and even flirt with me while we clean up poop. After one of L's worst episodes ever, we were in rolling giggles as we soaked her in the tub and scrubbed poop off walls, carpet and furniture. J got sick at church and I made a run for the bathroom. Projectile vomit followed, but we got to the bathroom first! We cleaned up the mess together as Brian bragged, and gave high fives on how close we got to the toilet. After dinner Brian said "What's that gurgling noise?" Me "The pee running down your shoulder and dripping onto your shoes." It may sound gross and disgusting, and lets face it, it is, but as long as we are together we usual find ourselves laughing out loud.

We tell silly, ridiculous jokes all the time. We do crazy dances that embarrass and horrify B and H. In short, when it is just us, we crack ourselves up. Life is hard. Life is challenging. Life is dirty. People other than my inner circle make me crazy. But as long as we can keep the laughter going, I know we will get though and that God must have a sense of humor.

Magic Kingdom

2010-11-23T08:28:00.001-06:00

We spent several portions of days at the Magic Kingdom. We started the trip with supper at the Crystal Palace and then did another morning of rides. We had hoped the Halloween Party would include lots of ride time,but it was probably the only disappointment of the week. Too dark,and too many people. J’s favorite rides- Buzz Lightyear and Pooh’s Blustery Day were here,and of course Tianna. L loves Tianna.

L was constantly kicking off her shoes,and we decided not to deal with braces. A cast member was constantly saying “Lost slippers?” so we finally gave up. One of those L only perks! The characters all did such a lovely job with all the kids. I just love Disney!

Pumpkin Carving

2010-11-23T08:06:00.001-06:00

All this year I have struggled with how big my kids are becoming. I drove past a sign for MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) the other day and almost hyperventilated as I realized I was a few short months from having everyone in school all day,every day. It was the moment I heard a little voice whisper “just one more…” I know, we need another child like we need a hole in the head, but I’m just not ready to let them grow up. Every once in awhile, I glance to my side and see these beautiful, tall!, girls in skinny jeans and boots. Catch a scent of perfume and manicured nails around a starbuck’s latte and my heart just stops. For heaven’s sake, put rocks on your head or something, but quit growing so fast! Yet another sign- B directed the cleaning and degooping of the pumpkin and even managed her helper well.

Country Halloween

2010-11-22T14:02:00.001-06:00

Halloween in our little part of the world is always a huge event. People are looking for our kids and often have special things prepared. No xray scans or prepackaged candy only rules for us. We are blessed to live in the land of homemade Halloween cookies, chilled drinks and ….. Mrs. Jean Downing’s chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing. I confiscate these almost immediately.

We had our first ever Trunk or Treat at church this year and a great time was had by all. Even dogs!

Incredible

2010-11-22T13:50:00.001-06:00

Had may be more Dash than Violet, but either way she is Incredible! Mama also gets a little credit here for creating a costume that still fit Had’s shorts and athletic shorts plan.

Buying Cattle with Daddy

2010-11-22T13:46:00.001-06:00

Epcot

2010-10-28T09:51:00.001-05:00

Did you ever look at a picture and instantly realize you were watching the last moments of childhood slip away?

L was so excited for the princess breakfast. Poor J is surrounded by so many girls, he also couldn’t wait. We got to Epcot very early,but it paid off as we strolled through the park almost alone and were among the first to be seated. We were right by the door where the princesses entered.

After a delicious breakfast we parted ways just as the park was officially opening. When it comes to Disney, I am a crazy planner. I read all the books and websites,and we entered each park with a plan to help everyone get the most out of their day. Of course by Wednesday,it became clear the plan included everyone but Mama whom became a little resentful, but Brian has promised a return trip where I can see all the parades. We will probably be ancient before then,but oh well. I have to admit that by the end of the week I felt those whom instilled the fireworks fear should have been dragging J onto rides explaining over his screams that no fireworks were inside. The same applies to the Halloween party where we got caught in the show and had to restrain J like a wild animal. Other than these relatively small issues, the plans worked like a charm.

Big kids headed to rides and little kids and I searched for characters. We kept our autograph books ready for any chance encounter. J could smell a character 1/2 mile away. For L, characters,shows and of course water were the trip.

We met back up to do Nemo and Turtle Talk with Crush. Due to Disney magic of course, an animated version of Crush, the sea turtle, can interact with the audience. L got to squealing VERY loud and high and Crush commented on the guest who could speak “whale.”

For lunch we headed around “the world.” The food and wine festival was going on, and Brian,Dawn and I would have happily just snacked away the afternoon,but…. After a little searching, Brian found a fabulous pizza place at the back of Italy. He just smiled and said “It’s Eat Pray Love, we have to eat here” Gotta love a man who pays attention to the reading habits of his women folk. It was excellent.

Playing drums in the amazon. B picked out several architectural features around epcot, allowing Mama to feel relieved that something of world geography was sinking in.

Characters and gift shops caught us on our way out. By this time L was completely toast.

But who can resist Stitch!

Old Key West

2010-10-24T17:57:00.001-05:00

We did something different this time and rented someone else’s vacation club points to stay in a condo on Disney property. It worked great for us. A washer and the ability to cook are just mandatory for us. That’s right, my crock pot made the trip!

Finally, L was getting to head to the swimming pool!

And what a great pool it was. The water slide was a huge hit!

The sand play area was pretty good too.

L can balance on her back and swim from Mama to Daddy!

The view from our patio.

Disney World 2010- The trip down

2010-10-24T17:32:00.001-05:00

Could you ever guess from this picture that our trip down to Orlando was nothing short of crazy?? In other words, just a normal day for the Celsor family! We had very good intentions of leaving right from school,and we were close until Brian’s forgotten ankle brace meant a trip back to Holland and then on the road again. L started signing “swim” before we crossed the Tennessee line,and J was sure Disney World was no further than Bowling Green. They were delightful traveling companions. J had stepped on a piece of glass earlier in the day and by the time we stopped for the night, it was obvious a piece was embedded in his foot and we had considerable bleeding. Brian had researched our stop options and made a great choice.

The next morning started with Advil for all and a great hot breakfast until we realized L was stinky. Umm… so began a series of stops due to some kind of stomach bug, in a state that has not improved its public bathroom situation since that ill fated college spring break trip I try so hard to forget. No changing facilities or even hot water most places. Thank you Ray Croc and Truett Cathy. Some days McDonalds and Chikfila are on my most wonderful things list. Well, that and the pepto bismal we started popping like candy.

Summer Scenes

2010-10-24T17:11:00.001-05:00

Gotta love girls softball- pony tails, silly socks, pink bats and cheerleader chants with words like scoot your bootie back all sung with plenty of twang We had an awesome season. There was plenty of controversy in the final 2 games,but Brian handled it well and we were blessed with great parents and girls. I especially love the smile on Brian’s face despite his very swollen, purple black ankle from a fight with a calf! My favorite moments of the season were when H wasn’t hitting and made a deal with her coach/Dad. “I promise to pay attention and hit the ball if you will let me hit left handed.” (She is a righty) Much to her mother’s chagrin, deal made, ball hit. And of course the night they just seemed sluggish and Brian yelled to the dugout to “talk it up.” H always took the lead here and jumped right into some chant. Her coach from travel ball had stopped by and laughed as he said “H is just such a great cheerleader.” How he nailed it. Sorry Dad.

Better late than never

2010-10-24T16:53:00.002-05:00

Spring of 2010 brought us plenty of rain. The same storms that flooded Nashville got us as well. I had always assured the girls that we lived “on top of the world” and nothing but a Noah type flood could get us. Never underestimate ground water. The water and rains came fast and furious. Brian and Michael finally just started tearing fence down in hopes cattle could get themselves to higher ground. Our basement flooded as the saturated ground could take no more and the water came in around the drains. By morning the above bridge had water across it for a short time.

This is the view of the river from behind our house.

Of course the ramifications of flooding like this don’t end overnight. I did a horrible job with pictures, but the whole summer was influenced. Our dock at the lake was completely covered- even the stairs. You can only imagine how comical we all looked trying to get out to the boats. There were several canoe tippings and plenty of mosquitoes but on we went.

Fountain Run Airfield

2010-09-11T07:48:00.003-05:00

You just never know what will happen at the CPC Field Day. From that small beginning where most attendees were from the local FFA and Sara and I did the desserts to 1200 steaks served and airplanes on site. Not sure what I think about a runway built by bush hog. I was also a little taken back when the pilot turned the plane by hand. I mean he got out, picked up tail and walked the plane around. It was wild. The kids and Brian had a great time. That's right, I kept both feet on the ground.

The Story of Bear

2010-09-10T10:02:00.001-05:00

My family has always had a special relationship with stuffed animals. Many of you will remember Rusty or my bear. So, of course as soon as I knew about my children I was looking for that wonderful stuffed friend that would see them through childhood. For B,I found a sherbert colored bear. We took it to Russia in 1999. B was literally terrified of it. When we landed in Cincinnati, Aunt Becky presented her with Pug Dog. I guess it was that this stuffed animal looked like a real animal, but Pug Dog has been around ever since. He has been through all 13 surgeries, camp, school,vacations, and everywhere in between.

As soon as we knew about Had,the search was on again. This time in the form of a creamy yellow,very soft bear. We took Bear to Russia in 2001, where she patiently tolerated bag searches and gave smiles to stressed airport employees just a few months after 9/11. Had loved her. She was a constant companion from day 1. Had is not quite as responsible as B and bear spent several nights lost in malls, or restaurants. The longest time she was ever lost was when Had was in 3yo preschool. We searched everywhere. I had given up. Had asked me to pray that God would bring back Bear. I began to pray this carefully worded prayer about accepting whatever happened, when Had stopped me and took over. “God, please help me find Bear. Just put her under my pillow or someplace easy to see. Amen” I was worried to death about how we would deal with this loss. Had however skipped off to school, confident God would answer. When I picked her up that day,she was grinning ear to ear and said “guess what I have!!” and pulled out Bear. I had to pull over I was crying so hard. Had just laughed and said “Why are you crying? I prayed didn’t I.” Oh to have the faith of a child.

Bear’s story does not end there. Last spring,in the midst of all the moving school trauma, Bear went missing. Bear was getting in rougher and rougher shape and I told Had she couldn’t take her out anymore. As usual, Had had her own plan and took Bear to school, where she was then left in the car. We couldn’t find her. I was mad at being disobeyed. Had was upset. We looked everywhere and finally sent Had to bed. The next morning I woke to find the backyard covered in white fluff. The neighbor dog had ripped Bear to shreds. I scooped it all up as I sobbed. This was not repairable. Hadley fell apart. I went in at school to let the teacher know. She looked at me somberly “the bear from Russia?” I cried again. Kids made Hadley cards. It was like a funeral. Ms. W brought Hadley her own 62yo bear to sleep with. Meanwhile, I salvaged and hand washed every piece of Bear I could. The face was 75% in tact. The mission began. We went through the fabric store touching every bolt and scrap looking for the right feel and color. I hand made pattern pieces only to trash them and start again. The fabric was so fragile it required meticulous hand sewing. Finally, I had a body somewhat in place. The face and head were still defeating me. I was in over my head. Bring in Grandma who then took Bear to a friend that repairs antique dolls. Months and hours and money later,Had got back her precious Bear.

I know, we are nuts, but sometimes in a very difficult world, we need a little security and comfort that only a stuffed friend can provide. But just to be safe…. J and L don’t have such buddies. They have each other and that is enough.

Status

2010-09-10T07:30:00.002-05:00

Yeah, Yeah, I have to do a better job with this. I will soon have to lump this with my woefully unupdated scrapbook stuff. As usual busy doesn't seem to cover it.

Brian messed up his ankle this summer and with the countdown to Disney and all it's walking on, (Don't think L is offering him a ride) Brian bit the bullet and had surgery the first week of August. It's just hard to lose a set of hands in this house, but he is on the mend and promising me he will be careful between now and fall break. L loves that they have therapy together each week, and he has a brace too.

The transition to school has been awesome. After the angriest summer on record, H has thrived in her new setting. Bigger has meant more people to show off for. I'm not kidding. I don't think many people have not noticed her. No one will ever be Ms. W, but I think she got a fabulous teacher this year. There have been some interesting moments like her first scan tron test. We studied really hard for this test and were horrified when she announced she got a 76%. Further investigation revealed she never got a copy of the actual test and didn't realize she was supposed to get one. She answered as the teacher went over the questions to make sure everyone could read them. Only Had. Thankfully, all was figured out and the retest produced a much better result. She has also particularly enjoyed her debit card type lunch account that means too much ice cream, not enough broccoli.

J had a good start followed by trauma as it was announced his class would be cut. After lots of tears by Mama (not very productive) and lots of phone calls and meetings by Brian and some other dads (very productive), J and his classmates were found a space. A slightly different,more challenging place, but at least he is there. He has so far managed to catch every germ in the building, and you know J-- always willing to share.

L has the best teacher ever. Hindsight being what it is, I wish she and J were together. Mrs. R came through Big Red School at WKU, which should be the standard for all inclusive preschools. L was saying "teacher" within just a few days and can't wait to go each day. Her aide stayed with her, and is truly an angel. We even got a phrase this weekend "Boat with my Daddy."

B is gutting out one more year with me before the big move to middle school. We are still trying to help her find an activity. ANYTHING!! 12 is just hard. 12 with a beautiful, talented self assured sister, a very confident brother, and another sister that is holding the whole family hostage, is unbearable. I need to improve my prayer life.

So, there it is. The updated life and times. Stay tuned for Adventures at the Lake and Ode to Dollar General.

Transitions

2010-07-24T06:03:00.004-05:00

I had too many emotions flowing to write this as school let out, but I couldn't let a new chapter of our life begin without paying homage to our fabulous last 6 years.

Lets begin with all children are unique and special individuals. One of the advantages of adopting was an awesome social worker that made us confront that our children would not be us. Biological children aren't either, but in adoption, you have to face that it is unlikely your offspring will have any of your talents or natural leanings. Are you ready to leave your own comfort box? Hold that thought. Years ago I read an article about a family that had made the rare decision to educate each of their 3 children in a different setting. One in public school, one in private school, and the other at home. When asked why, they simply stated "Each of our children has different needs." I hoped I would be so open minded. Most of our world argues that one area or the other is correct. Either we were raised that way and can't imagine anything else or we may have strong religious beliefs about one choice or another: Aren't we called to be salt and light? (public) Jesus was educated in the temple and the church has a long history of strong education (private) and finally, the Bible clearly places parents as the authority over children and we are called to teach and talk about faith to our children as we walk, sit, work etc. (home). I have long found confusing that while many are perfectly okay to send children to post secondary schools best suited to individual needs and personalities and after visits, tours and research, they make elementary choices without observation or critique. They accept what is handed to them. If I chose my child's pediatrician, whom we see a few times a year, after recommendations and research, why would I just chance where my child spends 7 hours a day, 5 days a week?

I knew my child. I knew her needs. I went looking for a school. I visited many places. Sat in many classrooms and sat down with administrators. When I walked in Holy Trinity, I almost cried. As the director walked me down a hall filled with children's art work based on a great artist they had studied, paper butterflies hung from the ceiling. The walls of the cafeteria were covered in a flower garden of thanks to teachers as part of Lutheran schools week. I saw parent volunteers in classrooms and the library. She discussed the importance of real books, not just textbooks. Here were small classes, high academic standards and an open door to parents. Science and social studies flourished in younger grades not because it would be tested, but because those are the years of seed planting. And of course covering it all was open discussion and practice of God's love, grace, standards, and forgiveness.

One of the best things about HTLS is size. Yes, it matters. Small schools and classes have fewer limits. It is easier to adjust the program for a different classes needs, or even a few children's needs. We have been blessed with awesome teachers who took every opportunity offered. Hear about a great field trip, play or program? Toss them in the van and go. Space camp, local theatre, Kentucky history by traveling all over the state. It is easier to be positive and deal with heart issues. Most importantly, Holy Trinity builds families. In classes this size, you can have the whole group plus families to Halloween parties or picnics. Over the years these people became not only my children's friends, but mine. How will I raise my kids without them?? These people who pick my kids up with no notice. Friends who bring supper, share clothes, and just love us. I know HTLS doesn't have a monopoly on good people,but they sure have a high percent of them.

HTLS isn't perfect. Like any other place we have dealt with issues like bullies or parents whom don't pitch in, or a teacher dispute. But along the way we skipped the popularity battles, clothes wars and other politics. We sent our kids off to school in their Target specials to get messy and become better thinkers- not just good students (there is a difference). And got to expose them to different races and cultures.

Tuesday, we begin a new adventure. After a year of being those open minded parents with one in home school, 2 in private, and 1 in public we are facing the reality that living where we live makes this plan almost undoable. Even with great friends to carpool, it is just too much. I can't spend, L can't spend the hours in the car (25 or so a week). We will continue to home school B as it has been a good fit for her, but J, L and H will all make the move to public. To huge schools (27 in H's class which is one of 9 4th grades in the building.) To a place where we know a few people, and there are no doubt some great people, some great teachers and of course Christians. It will be an adjustment. I have been warned to expect little parent communication and the woefully un updated web site attests to that. There will be more challenges and less flexibility. I wonder if anyone realizes that while 10,000 volumes in the library sounds impressive, when you do the math it amounts to 10 books per kid. The lack of foreign language till high school in an ever shrinking global climate is a little terrifying. But, I am clinging to the hope that a bigger school means opportunities I haven't imagined. That learning to work in this environment will make my children stronger. That the added family time will mean a better, less exhausted Mama. We are hoping above all hopes that our very angry child will be okay and after a few weeks will be as happy as L when we pull up at the building. Transitions are always hard and leaving a wonderful place makes it hard to envision the next place as good or even better, but we are going to try. Our bags are packed, we have boarded the boat, we leave behind our small bay and head into open water. The ocean awaits.

Camp 2010

2010-06-28T07:28:00.001-05:00

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

I long ago realized that camp was far more about me than any child I ever took. Camp just seems like a place that God is closer, or at least easier to hear from. I come from a family history of camp. I remember my aunts heading off to Burnumwood for weeks at a time. I was part of the long drives to get them long before I was old enough to go myself. I couldn’t wait for that first weekend as a camper. What a place it was. I heard songs never sung at my church and for the first time read from something other than a KJV Bible. For years I thought they were the only place with Bibles in common English. I loved reading those hard backed books! This was the first place I ever had a quiet time, sang a praise chorus, or saw drama in worship. We played capture the flag, looked at stars, and slept outside without a tent.

When my girls got old enough I started looking for the same experience. Secular camps are not the same and too often, church “camps” have become more like conferences than an old fashioned checkout from technology, meet with nature events. Sure there is a place for these, but I wanted to make sure they didn’t miss out on what was so great about my camp experience. Thank you Cedarmore. Cedarmore is set in the woods with gravel walks and log cabins filled with bunk beds. The dining hall has a slamming screen door and hot water is a valuable commodity. The schedule is full but leaves plenty of room for singing on the hill, doing hair, and playing outside. I love that it is all girls because it can be girl empowering without being beat the boys. My favorite part is always the missionaries. MIllie Reule and Deborah Cortner planted a love of missions that has never gone away. I am completely taken with God’s work through ordinary people sold out to His plan.

This year the missionaries were from a middle east country that has every material item you could want but is almost entirely Muslim. It is in fact, not legal for them to be there as missionaries. She (won’t mention names for safety reasons) taught the daily adult Bible study. It was awesome. She began each day by having a few people share testimonies. The room was filled with really broken people that God was redeeming and using for greatness. Doesn’t it take you back to realize that those whom have much don’t really let God use them the way those in pieces seem to? I once heard an example of how God’s power and light shines through broken vessels, but is simply hidden inside the seemingly perfect ones. How precious each story was. But, here also was an opportunity to be a student. Many times those willing to come to camp are also those teaching at home. How refreshing to be the student. The Bible verse that most hit me was Pslam 46:10. I have heard and read this verse many times. I pause for a moment, express my frustration to God and then push on. I am surrounded by people who largely think this verse is a joke. Okay,maybe a pipe dream but certainly not a way of life. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” After all, aren’t we just supposed to go till exhaustion and then drink a red bull? Umm… not quite what the verse says. See most of us, myself included, seem to think that the gospel is about us. God tells us to be still because rest is a good thing for ME. But, if you read the whole verse we realize that it is a good thing for God. See,if I be quiet, it is God whom gets the glory. If I step back,it is God whom gets the praise. Not me, God.

There were plenty more camp lessons I need to ponder like the sweetness of little girls singing away the miles sans ipods. Or God’s protection while they are hanging from a wire soaring through the trees. Or just the need to live with margins so that when hiking to the lake there is time to stop and breathe deeply of the delicious smells in the flowered bend in the path, and watch the amazing number of butterflies doing the same. I hope the girls had a good week. Their leader definitely did.

Skills We Have

2010-06-12T07:42:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it takes the space of a year to really see accomplishment. Last year, as this year, I struggled to get to softball games. At one of the first games I did make last year, this lovely redheaded mom came running to me asking "Are you the coach's wife? I have really wanted to meet you." Turns out, they too had a daughter with many of the same issues as L, but no diagnosis (a troubling place to be). We talked quite a bit last summer, and then have run into each over over the winter. Enough for me to feel like her daughter C was making great progress and we were standing still. She was walking, sitting independently. And while we are thrilled for them, it is hard to not be jealous. Sometimes I need to do an emotion check and not unlike the Berenstain Bears book where they become consumed with Bearbie dolls and video games, be reminded to count my blessings. The mom on Table for 12 commented last season "I would be happy to feed Rachel (daughter with CP) for the rest of her life, but I think drinking from a straw would be a really nice skill for her." Ahh, a count my blessings moment. L can't hold the cup, but she can drink from a straw or a regular open mouthed cup. That people, means freedom. I reread my post from August about yes, no,and more. Last night that lovely red head watched L at the ballpark and commented on L's communication and what they would give for that. Keep counting Mama. L is making animal sounds-lots of them. She recognizes and says, pink, purple and yellow. She can pick out almost anything in the books we read,and has definite favorites. She participates in motions with songs like "Happy and you know it". If you can ask enough yes and no questions, you can figure out what she wants. She signs eat, sleep, music, and potty. Yes, she is going to be potty trained. We aren't walking or sitting criss cross or many other things, but a year ago she was barely getting yes and no. Now she crawls to me with her favorite color nail polish and points to her hands. This week, as it stormed outside, she pushed off my shoulder at bedtime and said "thunder, Mama." Yes, baby, just like the Berenstain Bears, it sometimes takes a little thunder to remember how much we have.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

2010-06-03T09:51:00.001-05:00

How does your garden grow??

With children sweet….

and dirty feet,

And plants in boxes not rows!!

I just love the garden. I love my morning meetings with earth worms and weeds. I love the feel and the smell of soft black dirt in my hands, and the daily discovery of something newly sprouted. Bright berries peek from under leaves, and J blows off the dirt before popping them into his mouth. He debates with me all the reasons I should NOT plant red sweet corn, only yellow. L repeats “lello”. J finds her a berry. B takes over her own box to fill with wildflower seeds, and of course we weed. We anxiously await the future blueberry and raspberry harvests and vow to find what creature is eating the broccoli. I delight in finding that Brian has staked my babied heirloom tomatoes brought from Aunt Drue in Bracken county. Better yet, a scoop of manure form the barn. I think J assumes the dirt piles are just for his truck playing needs. I wear my funny straw hat from southern states, and L eats grass. We take pictures like proud parents, squeal at bugs, and plan for the harvest.

This is a few weeks old, this box now looks like a rainforest.

Couldn’t resist the view.

Is there anything sweeter than fresh picked strawberries??

Happy Birthday Brian!

2010-04-17T22:08:00.001-05:00

Every body needs a moment of applause now and then for all the things they do that never get noticed. No one else may ever read this, but I know that Brian is my biggest reader and it will mean something to him. I also hope my girls will read it and someday mean something to them.

So here is the message to you all. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. Never let anyone convince you to settle for less. Brian truly is a godly (not just a formula follower!) leader of our home. He has completely taken Christ's example of servant leadership to heart and works everyday to put it into practice. He works REALLY hard and still finds a way to help with therapy and doctor appointments and all the other craziness that is our life. He is the most selfless person I have ever met. He is patient and kind with me, with our children, and with almost any one else whom he deals. He coaches the girls teams and his parents love him. He reminds kids to have a good time, praises even small accomplishments and will stop a pitch to ask a player to smile. He remembers they are little girls. Despite his own likes and dislikes, he goes to movies filled with princesses and music, keeps up with cheer events and our reading habit. He will take me on a date that includes Starbucks (he doesn't drink it) and browsing through Barnes and Noble for an hour. He sings silly songs on voicemail and dances in the kitchen or jumps on the trampoline. He can make me laugh like no one else and seems to work at, to delight in, finding ways to make me smile. He is quick with compliments. He likes me for who I am and not what others wish I was. There is no one I would rather talk to, laugh with or just be with. Brian, you are amazing and we love you!! Happy Birthday!

As a side note-- My play list is a mix of Brian/Cathy songs. If I could have found "I Want to be Just Like You" from Phillips Craig and Dean (He played this for me on a very early date) and "Ticks" by Brad Paisley, it would be perfect.

Easter 2010

2010-04-07T09:17:00.001-05:00

Following the Formula

2010-04-06T13:45:00.002-05:00

I think the term godly is over used. I hear it applied almost flippantly, "godly girls", "godly guys", "the gorgeous godly women of ........" I look at the group in question,and while they may in deed be nice people, I am usually left wondering if "godly" really means "nice people with cute shoes" or "clean cut guys whom still say Yes Mam." There is nothing wrong with these descriptions, but I don't think it makes people "godly." Some how, I can't imagine Christ teaching that as long as you are basically good, and attend church on a regular basis, you are well on the way to Christlike. Andy Stanley shares in one of his Bible studies, that most Christians replace true faith with a formula "pray, pray, fast, fast, go to church." And, then hope God does what they are asking. We kind of miss that real faith is doing what God asks of us and not the other way around. So, the million dollar question seems to be " If there are so many "godly" people out there, why aren't we asking God what He wants us to do instead of just telling him what we think we need?"

The women's Bible study group I meet with at church is an interesting mix of women. First off, no one in the group was born and raised in our church. For a small congregation in the middle of no where, this is pretty unique. Secondly, everyone in the group has met with some really big life challenges- cancer, death of a child, physical abuse etc. Perhaps because of this, all of us have a pretty long list of bad "advice" given to us by fellow Christians. As a general rule, I think alot of us just make other Christians uncomfortable. Sort of like the story of Job, if God can let that happen to them, what about me? A fellow church member once told me she didn't want to pray for God to direct her because she really liked where she was and was afraid God would want her someplace else. Following the formula. Asking for God's blessing, but not real faith. Honestly, don't I, don't we all, sometimes want to be the good girl with cute shoes instead of struggling to follow in faith?

Somewhere along the way, most Christians seem to have bought into the prosperity gospel or other variations. We want desperately to believe that as long as everything flows easily along, we must be in God's will. After all, God is a parent and don't parents want their children to be happy? Of course we do, but my children would be happiest if I let them watch hours of TV, never wear sunscreen and live on junk food. We want to believe that the people like those in my Bible study suffer because they have issues or (sins) that God is dealing with. Rick Warren points out just the opposite in his book The Purpose Driven Life, "If Satan hasn't been attacking you lately, maybe it is because you aren't a danger." Now there's a thought to chew on.

Lately I am really feeling God pushing me. The usual church view seems to say I stepped out in faith to bring home a child with severe special needs and now God will reward you through her miraculous healing. We pray for this nightly. But, what if God has another plan? What if God is using this to develop my patience, to strengthen my family, to make us unselfish? What if God is more glorified through L's disability than through her healing? What if faith means continuing to follow even when, as with Abram, the path is not clear to me? For a control freak like me, this is a tough one. What if I have to let God drive, and my job is to make the most of the journey?

Being "godly" is hard work. Sometimes letting go is harder than holding on. In the end,"godly" really just comes down to one question "When people see me or you, what do they see first?"

I'm very much a daily work in progress.

When We Grow Up

2010-03-30T08:50:00.002-05:00

We seem to have hit a spot, where we have lots of discussions on "when we grow up." I will have.... kind of house, pet, car etc. Two of the most recent struck me as particularly interesting. On the way to Gatlinburg, B and H were telling me how many children they were each going to have and what names they had chosen. B wants 2 boys and a girl; Raymond, Maxwell, and Amanda. H, ever the unique one, wants a boy and a girl; Draco and Gladys. I'll just see how many of you get that one.

Friday, B had a friend spend the night. They were all discussing future jobs and careers. The friend wants to be a marine biologist. B wants to be a clothing and jewelry designer. She talks about this all the time and has even reached the age of planning education etc. H, having not learned how to say no to anything, wants to be an illustrator, help Daddy on the farm, and of course cheer. J could not be left out and kept yelling across the table, "Stop talking and listen to me! I want to be a fireman." Dawn complimented him on his great choice, but J kept going. "Yes, a fireman,or Mater and then I can have a hook coming out of my back. I love those hooks." Umm. Let's see, in 20 years I am going to have the evil twins for grandchildren, but I will be able to get my car towed for free.

Daytona

2010-03-27T15:25:00.001-05:00

Take cheerleaders to the beach and what do they do???? Spend 6 hours practicing lifts and tosses in the pool unless they are at the beach turning flips! We had awesome weather for our short trip. We were very fortunate that the booster mom in charge of finding hotels, got us away from the college spring breakers. I was really unimpressed with the college scene. My very sheltered girls have only been to beaches that are not very developed and more like nature reserves. B was horrified by the cars on the beach, the lack of dunes, and general disrespect for wildlife. I think we will stick with St. George for family trips, but all in all a great time!

Reach the Beach 2010

2010-03-27T12:40:00.001-05:00

Good Day

2010-03-10T16:48:00.002-06:00

God must know I could take very little more. Yesterday, we had a really good day. L was finally well and smiled and played. It was pretty and the whole crew got to play on the trampoline. We got lots of school done. I feel like a great teacher when I see the love of history B has developed. Of course I feel equally bad when we both cheer at the completion of the chemistry unit ansd set it aside with clear distaste. We just did better.

Today was J's surgery. He did better than expected and has gotton to come home. The big girls are staying with the plan to spend the night away just in case. I finally woke up not already exhausted. As Brian said to day when I could carry on a conversation without coughing " I am glad to have you back." We are blessed to have really great friends look after our kids. H is spending the night with her teacher. Ms. Whittamore is the bomb! Even got a book read while J was in surgery and all took a nap when we got home.

Thanks for prayers. And thank you God for days of rest.

Happy 4th Birthday J and L

2010-03-05T17:51:00.001-06:00

J and L needed individual cakes this year. L picked out Elmo all by herself, but wanted Abby Cadabby napkins. J wanted trucks, but settled for the tractor.

J wanted a big party with friends and a place like Chuck E Cheese. We got him to compromise on family plus a few at the CLC and rented a bounce house. It took L awhile to warm up to it, but once she did, we had to get lots of volunteers to keep L jumping.

L blew out her own candles!!

The Search for Normal

2010-03-04T06:27:00.003-06:00

Read the following post with a grain of salt. We have just had a rough week between sick kids and a tragic accident between one of our feed truck drivers and a long time member of our church. Eldon will be missed by all. The truck driver is searching for his faith. Please pray for him. I just needed a place to vent.

Years ago I came across the idea of habits and schedules as a way to relieve stress. Emilie Barnes made a career out of teaching people to break household tasks into easy steps and plans that basically took the thought out of each day and made all of these activities a habit. Managers of Their Homes takes this even further. If you have ever seen the brightly colored charts hanging in the Duggar's house, you have met MOTH. MOTH has you schedule yourself and each child in crazy detail. Both are really just using classroom management techniques that have worked for years- playing music to announce cleanup time. Hanging toys on pre marked pegboards. Always sending lunch money in the same folder etc. My latest read, Simple Life, takes yet another look at this. The authors point out that we all have a "normal" setting. The stress and frustration comes when our normal doesn't match our priorities or personal mission statement. They use a wonderful example of Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps has a goal and a vision and makes decisions accordingly. He does not get up every morning stressed out about all he has to do. He gets up, eats like an Olympian, trains like and Olympian and sleeps like an Olympian. He does not seem frustrated because he hasn't also cured cancer and revamped the education system. Come on admit it, some of you like me do a pretty good job of beating ourselves up for not being ultra super woman.

So, what do I do with all of this? We are without a doubt stressed to the max. We keep telling ourselves, it is just for a season, that everyone has moments, but I am tired of our moments. I can't help but think most other people are tired of us too. Everybody wants to feel like they have things hardest or most challenging etc. It's how we deal with the self imposed guilt. But I get sick of just being so needy. We are desperately searching for a new normal and one that fits with our vision and goals, but what if the normal you have can never equal the normal you want?

We have little margin in our lives, but we really are trying to make better decisions. We have given up every outside activity we can for the time. We have Dawn coming every minute she can, but her schedule is also rough this semester. L can't just adjust to another set of hands, so that is not really an option. Sometimes I think we have the same issues as anybody else, we just put them on steroids. Lot of kids have his/her tonsils removed. But, we are dealing with extreme oxygen drops, a huge machine in J's bedroom that delivers the oxygen, and quickly scheduled surgery that means it will be the Wed before H goes to Gatlinburg on Friday and Daytona a week later. We grab scratching and clawing at what we remember of normal and when we fall, still can't seem to wrap our minds around that elusive "new normal". What seems to work best is divide and conquer parenting with Brian going to Gatlinburg with big kids and me going to Daytona. We do this alot and often feel we have given up family unity and support. It breeds alot of "me, me, me"attitudes and resentment towards J and L. It happens everywhere. Because L is pulling out hair and bloodying herself, she tends to get her way in the car. Her movie, her music etc. Angry siblings. I envisioned kids learning to be more compassionate and patient, but once you get bit a few times, you tend to lose desire to help restrain and instead yell, pout and demand you to find L's helmet.

Sometimes that desire for "normal" pushes us to just make bad decisions. Taking L back to Bowling Green after she had already made the trip twice that day. Ridiculous amounts of fast food because it buys a moment of appeasement. Even discussing if J will be well enough to make the Gatlinburg trip. Okay, enough bad day. Sorry, I am on day 4 of an elephant sitting on my chest while I cough and run a fever. I may look back later and realize it was the cough medicine with hydrocodone that was doing the talking here. Where do we go from here? Is there ever a point at which we can look at our life and say "it's not for everyone, but hey it works for us and we are content." Notice I did not say happy, I think they are two different things. I just want to reach a point that like MOTHs or Michael Phelps, I simply move through the day with out feeling like it is an enemy to be conquered.

I have to quit being angry. I have to quit fussing at God. Whatever lesson I am supposed to be learning, I call "Mercy". The teaching method is killing me.

So, what do you do? How do you find a normal that works for all the peoples in your household? Let me sit at your feet and glean wisdom.

January 2010 – the big snow

2010-02-03T09:30:00.001-06:00

Mama only has so many hands, so we tried out L’s chair in the snow.

I think we need a bigger sled if the whole crew is riding!

What would L do without her partner to keep things interesting! J described sledding as awesome, but L liked it better in theory or alone with Daddy! B was very much a lone sledder or a builder in the snow, while H turned flips down the hill.

The Red Cups

2010-02-03T09:19:00.001-06:00

My creative girls with some extra time on their hands! Of course J was asleep!

Valentine Cookies

2010-02-03T09:16:00.001-06:00

B, as usual was very particular about her designs.

H is not so careful. She has a tendency to lick off mistakes and start over. We don’t let her share her creations!

I can not equal my sister’s creative shots but here are a few of our masterpieces.

H’s birthday

2010-02-03T09:10:00.001-06:00

H had a family gathering and a small slumber party for her birthday. I have no idea what the face painting was about. It was all over the bathroom and we spent considerable time and make up remover scrubbing faces, but it was interesting.

The Total Cheer, Patriot softball combo cake.

How to accidentally make a 20 pound Chicken Pot Pie

2010-01-17T14:32:00.002-06:00

Begin with a recipe you have never made before. Don't worry if it is even called chicken pot pie, as any basic casserole will do. Look over the list of ingredients while thinking what a great way this will be to use up some veggies. Notice that the recipe doesn't include chicken so throw a couple of breasts in the oven to bake. Begin by peeling, de seeding and dicing a butternut squash. Read that the recipe requires only a half cup. Question what you would do with the rest, while seeing that the recipe calls for 1 1/2 cups carrots. Decide to use the whole butternut squash and leave out the carrots. Peel and dice one baking potato. Realize how lost it seems in all the squash and peel a second one. Measure 1 1/2 cups frozen peas into pot. Question what to so with remainder in bag before adding them to the pot. Measure 1/2 cup frozen corn. Think about how much your kids like corn and add more. Think about the sweet corn and the sweet squash and worry the pie will be too sweet. Decide to add the carrots anyways. The pan is now overflowing, so get a bigger pan. Allow contents to boil for 4 minutes.

While this is happening, chop the cooked chicken breasts. Saute one onion. Recipe calls for 1 and 1/2 cups chopped mushrooms, but mushrooms shrink when cooking right? Add a few more. Increase the butter to account for the extra mushrooms. Add extra flour to account for the extra butter. Since you don't like vegetable stock, use the chicken stock you keep on hand. It isn't granules so go ahead and add the whole box (4 cups). Increase the milk to keep proportions correct. Just guess at seasoning as no one's spice rack is the same. Stir in the veges and chopped chicken. Find a bigger pan to bake it in. Realize you will need to double the crust recipe to cover the whole thing. Give up the recipe and mix a Jiffy corn mix with a little Martha White cornmeal and extra milk and eggs. When it looks right, pour it on top. Be careful as it is probably now spilling over the top. Ask for help getting it in and out of the oven.

Finally, hope your family likes it as they will be eating it for a week.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-13T22:23:00.001-06:00

B didn’t feel well Christmas Eve, so she made a nest on the couch and stayed put.

The rest of the crew. L’s place of choice is always Daddy’s lap.

L got several pieces of “chewelry” for Christmas. She is a “bling” kind of girl, so we are encouraging her to chew on these special items instead of herself or others.

J shows off his tall pile of gifts. He opened a Handy Manny workbench first and didn’t get back to anything else for much of the night. Cousins rotated around to help him build things. Because we had to put it together and had to make it back to our house, it rode in my lap where my nose kept setting off the saw and drill sounds. The really tall box was a basketball goal of course!

Much to J’s dismay, L opened her own gifts this year. She also shredded any box she could get hold of as well!

Ipods. What else can I say. Despite needing to get to Ina’s and on to Bracken County, H insisted we get songs downloaded. I was too scattered and finally said they would have to wait till we got back and cousin SC could help. Then J “accidentally” downloaded exactly what they wanted.

This happens so rarely, I had to make sure there was photographic evidence.

L needed a little pediasure before she checked out her stuff. She liked J’s truck more than he did! She loves to open and close the door.

L got a dancing chicken at Grandma’s. Since Mama sings (and does the dance) many times a day, she was very appreciative.

Baby Angels

2010-01-13T21:59:00.001-06:00

J and L literally played the baby angels and sang Away in a manger. All Mama wanted for Christmas was for L to be able to sign it. We got the sign for sleep and one side of Jesus. Those of you whom know that sign will understand. I guess we can try next year. I would love to have had a picture of them on stage and in costume, but the director can only do so much.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

2010-01-13T21:54:00.001-06:00

After 2 months of practice I was a little sorry to see it end. They all did an awesome job! I need to make special mention of Michael and Kassie for playing Mr. and Mrs. Bradley as well as coaching lines and handling scene changes. H was Gladys (not really a stretch). B was Maxine, and had the entire Christmas story memorized. Cousin B was Ollie and Cousin D memorized and acted her heart out as Beth. Aren’t they all just wonderful!

Halloween 2009

2010-01-13T21:46:00.001-06:00

Not a great picture, but I needed some evidence of the event!

Williamsburg

2010-01-10T17:48:00.001-06:00

J’s dream scenario.

He had to occupy himself somehow on the very long drive!

Yorktown

2010-01-10T17:44:00.001-06:00

H got to be a runner for a cannon exhibition. This would have been a boy of her age who ran in the pouches of gunpowder between shots.

B got to pretend she was a battle surgeon and dig a bullet out of a re-enactor.

The Great American History Trip

2010-01-10T17:37:00.001-06:00

Part school and part “everyone needs to do this”, we headed to the Historic Triangle for fall break. While Williamsburg was a little above us, Jamestown and Yorktown were amazing. The girls learned more than I could have hoped for and really got to be a part of hands

on history.

At Jamestown, we saw models of the ships as well as experiencing both Native American and Colonial life. Digging out a birch bark canoe was definitely a highlight.